Jan.--De deil’s i’ the carles, for you and your ministers are liars, when ye say it is de deil it was helping Sandy and me to get de bairn. Come, come, said they, pay down the Kirk-dues, and come back to the stool the morn; the price is four pound, and a groat to the bell-man. Jan.--The auld thief speed the darth o’t, sir, far less might sair you and your bell-man baith. O but this be a world indeed, when poor honest fouk maun pay for making use o’ their ain a--! Ye misca the poor deil a-hint his back, an’ gies him the wyte of a de ill in de kintry, bastard bairns and every thing; and if it be say as ye say, ye may thank de deil for that four pound and a groat I hae gien you; that gars your pat play brown, an gets you jockey-coats, and purl-handed sarks, and white-headed staves, when my father’s pot wallops up nought but bear and blue water. The woman is mad, said they, for this money is all given to the poor of the parish!! Jan.--The poor of the parish! Feint a hate ye gie to them but we pickles o’ pease-meal, didna I see their pocks? an’ the minister’s wife gies naething ava to unco beggars, but bids them gae to their ain parishes; and yet ye’ll tak the purse frae us for naething but playing the loon a wee or we be married, and syne cock them up to be looked on, and laugh’d at by every body: a deil speed you and your justice, sir. Hute tute, ye’re a’ coming on me like a wheen colly dogs, hunting awa a poor raggit chapman frae the door. So out she goes cursing and greeting. Sandy is next called upon, and in he goes. Min.--Now, Saunders, you must tell us how this child was gotten. San.--A now, Mess John, sir, ye hae bairns o’ your ain, how did ye get them? But yours are a’ laddies, and mine is but a lassie; if you tell me how you get your laddies, I’ll tell you how I got my lassie, and then we’ll be baith alike good o’ the business. The minister looks at him and says, Hute, tute, Saunders, lay down four pund and a groat, and come back the morn to the stool, and give satisfaction to the congregation; you had more need to be seeking repentance for that abominable sin of uncleanness than speaking so to me. San.--Well, here’s your siller, sir, I hae gotten but poor penny-worths for’t, an’ ye tell me to repent for’t; what, the auld thief, needs I repent! when I’m gaun to marry the woman, an’ then I’ll hae to do’t o’er again every day, or there’ll be nae peace in the house; figs, it’s nonsense to pay siller, repent, and do’t again, too: a fine advice, indeed, master minister! and that’s the way the like o’ you live. Now, sir, says Wise Willie, ye manna put them on the black creepy till they be married; they’ve suffered enough at ae time. A-weel, a-weel, said they, but they must marry very soon. I, true, says Sandy, ye’ll be wanting mair clink; foul haet ye do for naething here.