_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I was going through that little country village, the famous city of Chester, the streets were very sore by reason of the hardness of my feet, and lameness of my brogues, so I went but very slowly across the streets, from port to port is a pretty long way, but I being weary thought nothing of it; then the people came all crowding to me as I had been a world’s wonder, or the wandering jew; for the rain blew in my face, and the wind wetted all my belly, which caused me to turn the backside of my coat before, and my buttons behind, which was a good safeguard to my body, and the starvation of my naked body, for I had not a good shirt. _Tom._ I am sure then, Paddy, they would take you for a fool? _Teag._ No, no, sir, they admired me for my wisdom, for I always turned my buttons before, when the wind blew behind, but I wondered how the people knew my name and where I came from: for every one told another, that was Paddy from Cork: I suppose they knew my face by seeing my name in the newspapers. _Tom._ Well, Paddy, what business did you follow in Chester? _Teag._ To be sure I was not idle, working at nothing at all, till a decruiting seargeant came to town with two or three fellows along with him, one beating on a fiddle, and another playing on a drum, tossing their airs thro’ the streets, as if they were going to be married. I saw them courting none but young men; so to bring myself to no preferment at all, I listed for a soldier,--I was too big for a grandedeer. _Tom._ What listing money did you get, Paddy? _Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I got five thirteens and a pair of English brogues; the guinea and the rest of the gold was sent to London, to the King, my master, to buy me new shirts, a cockade, and common treasing for my hat, they made me swear the malicious oath of devilrie against the King, the colours, and my captain, telling me if ever I desert, and not run away, that I should be shot, and then whipt to death through the regiment. _Tom._ No Paddy: it is first whipt and then shot you mean. _Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, it is all one thing at last, but it is best to be shot and then whipt, the cleverest way to die I’ll warrant you. _Tom._ How much pay did you get, Paddy? _Teag._ Do you know the little tall fat seargeant that feed me to be a soldier? _Tom._ And how should I know them I never saw you fool. _Teag._ Dear shoy, you may know him whether you see him or not, his face is all bored in holes with the small pox, his nose is the colour of a lobster-toe, and his chin like a well washen potatoe, he’s the biggest rogue in our kingdom, you’ll know him when you meet him again: the rogue height me sixpence a day, kill or no kill: and when I laid Sunday and Saturday both together, and all the days in one day, I can’t make a penny above fivepence of it. _Tom._ You should have kept an account, and asked your arrears once a month.