Q. What is the difference between Ale-drapers and Linen-drapers? A. Only this, the one cheats you with froth and the other with cloth. Q. If Extortioners cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven, where will Usurers, Tallymen, and Pawn-brokers go? A. The same road with Extortioners. Q. What is the consequence of immoderate gaming? A. By cards and dice, a man is ruin’d in a trice, for gaming and whoring often hang together. Q. What employments are likest to one another? A. Soldiers and Butchers are bloody near relations, for they both live by slaughtering and killing. Q. What are the two hardest things to be found, and yet they are both good in their kind? A. Good women, and good small beer. Q. Who is the likest to a Boatman? A. An hypocrite, who always looks one way and rows another, in all his transactions. Q. What are the five greatest rarities to be found in the world? A. A black Swan, a Phœnix, an Unicorn, the Philosophers’ Stone, and a maiden at sixteen. Q. What is the greatest folly that sensible people can be guilty of? A. To go to law about trifles, for whatever way the plea end, the lawyers will be the greatest gainers. Q. Who has the honestest trade in the world? A. Ballad-singers; for they always deal with ready-money: and it is as ancient as the Siege of Troy, for Homer was a ballad-singer. Q. What is the surest method for one to become both rich and respectable? A. To be sober and industrious. Q. What is the best method of overcoming the argument of a positive person? A. Either to say with him, or give him no answer. Q. What is the wisest course to be followed by a man who has a brawling and scolding wife? A. To keep silent, and then she’ll bite her own fingers with anger. Q. What thing is that which is lengthened by being cut at both ends? A. A Ditch. Q. What is that which was born without a soul, lived and had a soul, yet died without a soul. A. The whale that swallowed Jona. Q. What is the longest and the shortest thing in the world? the swiftest and the slowest? the most indivisible and the most extended? the least valued and the most regretted? without which nothing can be done? which devours all that is small, yet gives life and spirit to all that is great? A. Time. Q. What creatures are those which appear closely connected, yet upon examination are found to be three distinct bodies, with eight legs, five on one side, and three on the other; three mouths, two straight forwards, and the third on one side; six eyes, four on one side, two on the other; six ears, four on one side, and two on the other? A. A Man and Woman on horseback. Q. Why is a churchyard like an inn? A. Because it receives weary travellers. Q. Why is a carrotty lady like a troop of soldiers. A. Because she bears fire-locks. Q. What did Adam first set in the garden of Eden? A. His foot. Q. How is it that a clergyman’s horse is like a King? A. Because he is guided by a minister.