A Scottish Laird and his man, Donald, travelling southward: at the first English inn, the room in where they were to sleep, containing a bed for the master and a truckle for the man, which drew forth from beneath the larger couch. Such furniture being new to the Highlanders, they mistook the four posted pavilion for the two beds, and the Laird mounted the tester, while the man occupied the comfortable lodging below. Finding himself wretchedly cold in the night, the Laird called to Donald to know how he was accommodated. “Ne’er sae weel a’ my life,” quoth the gilly. Ha, man, exclaimed the Laird, “If it was na for the honour of the thing, I could find in my heart to come down.” GRAVE-DIGGER OF SORN. The Grave-Digger of Sorn, Ayrshire, was as selfish and as mean a sinner as ever handled mattock, or carried mortcloth. He was a very quarrelous and discontented old man, with a voice like the whistle of the wind thro’ a key hole. On a bleak Sunday afternoon in the country, an acquaintance from a neighbouring parish accosted him one day, and asked how the world was moving with him, “Oh, very puirly, sir, very puirly indeed,” was the answer, “the yard has done naething ava for us this Summer, if ye like to believe me, I havna buriet a leevin’ soul this sax weeks.” EXPENCE OF A WIFE. An old bachelor who lived in a very economical style, both as regards food and clothing, and not altogether so very trig as some bachelors sometimes appear, was frequently attacked by his acquaintances on the propriety of taking a wife; he was very smartly set upon one day, and told how snod a wife would keep him, and many other fine things to induce him to take a wife, and among the rest, what a comfort it would be to him, if it was for nothing else, but to mak his puritch in the morning; says he, “I dinna doubt but she wad mak my puritch, put the plauge is, she wad be fair to sup the half o’ them.” CHARITY. A person who resides in the ancient town of Killwinning, proverbial for his liberality in meat and drink, to friends and acquaintances; strangers too, seldom passed without experiencing a due share of his kindness; lately while feasting nearly a dozen of random visitors on “Pat Luck,” a beggar called at the door soliciting charity, when he very good humouredly called out, “I canna help you the day, I hae plenty o’ your kin here already.” DISTINCTION OF SONS AND DAUGHTERS. About the year thretty-sax, a company differed, “Whether it was better for a man to hae sons or daughters?” They cou’dna gree, but disputed it pro and con. At last, one of them said to Graham of Kinross, (wha hadna yoked wi’ them in the argument,) “Laird, what’s your opinion?” Quo he, “I had three lads and three lasses; I watna whilk o them I liked best sae lang as they sucket their mither; but de’il hae my share o’ the callants, when they came to suck their father.” BIRD’S NEST.