John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
Having obtained a considerable booty by these two stratagems,
he returned to his companions, where he was received with great
applause; and, as a mark of their respect, seated him next the
king. He soon became a great man in the profession, and confined
not himself from doing good to others, when it did not infringe
upon the community of which he was a member.
His next stratagem was to become a mad-man; so stripping himself
quite naked, he threw a blanket over him, and then he was, “Poor
mad Tom, whom the foul fiend has led through fire and through
flame! through fire and whirlpool, over bog and quagmire; that hath
laid knives under his pillow, and halters in his pew; set ratsbane
for his porridge, and made him proud at heart to ride on a bay
trotting-horse over four-inch bridges; to curse his own shadow for
a traitor; who eats the swimming-frog, the toad, the tadpole, the
wall-newt, and the water-newt; that in the fury of his heart, when
the foul fiend rages, swallows the old rat and ditch dog; drinks
the green mantle of the standing pool;
And mice and rats, and such like gear,
Have been Tom’s food for seven long year.
O do de, do de, do de! bless thee! from whirlwind, star-blasting,
and taking! Do poor Tom some charity, whom the foul fiend
vexes--There I could have him now--and there!--and there!--and
here again!--and there!--Through the sharp hawthorn blows the cold
wind--Tom’s a cold!--who gives any thing to poor Tom?”
In this character, with such-like expressions, he entered the
houses of both small and great, claiming kindred to them, and
committing all kinds of frantic actions, such as beating himself,
offering to eat coals of fire, running against the wall, and
tearing to pieces whatever garments were given to him to cover his
nakedness; by which means he raised considerable contributions.
He never was more happy than when he was engaged in some adventure;
therefore he was always very diligent to enquire when any
accident happened, especially fire, to which he would immediately
repair, and, getting information of the causes, names, trades,
and circumstances of the unhappy sufferers, he would assume
one of them, and burning some part of his clothes, by way of
demonstration, run to some place distant, pass for one of them,
gain credit, and get much profit. Under this character he had once
the boldness to address a justice, who was the terror and professed
enemy to all the gypsies, yet he so well managed the affair,
that in a long examination he made him believe he was an honest
miller, whose house, mill and substance had been consumed by fire,
occasioned by the negligence of the apprentice; and accordingly,
got a bountiful sum for his relief, the justice not in the least
suspecting a defraud.
He had such wonderful facility in every character he assumed, that
he even deceived those who thought themselves so well acquainted
with him, that it was impossible for him to impose on them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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