John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor lifeAdams, Frederick Upham
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John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor life
Adams, Frederick Upham
Humorous stories; Outdoor life -- Fiction
Harding--I call him Mister when addressing him, since he is worth thirty
millions or more, and he is old enough to be my father--Harding strolled
out to the first tee early this morning and stood with his hands in his
pockets watching some of the fellows drive off.
I should judge him to be a man of about fifty-five, or perhaps a year of
two older. He stands more than six feet, is broad of shoulder and
equally broad of waist, ruddy of complexion, clear of eye and quick of
motion. He is of the breezy, independent type peculiar to those who have
risen to fortune with the wonderful development of our western country,
and it is difficult to realise that he is a real live magnate.
His close-cropped beard shows few gray hairs, and does not entirely hide
the lines of a resolute chin. He looks like a prosperous farmer who has
been forced to become familiar with metropolitan conventionalities, but
whose rough edges have withstood the friction. His voice is heavy but
not unpleasant, and his laugh jovial but defiant. He reminds me of no
one I have seen, and I shall study him with much interest.
He was with Carter, who seemed well acquainted with him, and he greeted
each drive whether it was good or bad with a sneering smile. This told
me that he had never played the game, and that he had all of the
outsider's contempt for it. I knew exactly what he thought, for I was
once as ignorant and unappreciative as he is now.
A mutual contempt exists between those who play golf and those who do
not. Those who have not played are sure they could become expert in a
week, if they had so little sense as to waste time on so simple and
objectless a game. Those who are familiar with the game know that no man
living can ever hope to approach its possibilities, and they also know
that it is the grandest sport designed since man has inhabited this
globe.
I have sometimes thought that this old globe of ours is nothing more nor
less than a golf ball, brambled with mountains and valleys, and scarred
with ravines where the gods in their play have topped their drives. The
spin around its axis causes it to slice about the sun. This strikes me
as rather poetic, and when I write a golf epic I shall elaborate on this
fancy.
Harding has no such conception of this whirling earth of ours. He is
fully convinced that it was created for the purpose of being
cross-hatched with railroads, and that it never had any real utility
until he gridironed the western prairies with ten thousand miles of rust
and grease. I thought of that as I watched him standing by the side of
Carter, his huge hands thrust deep in his pockets, his bushy head thrown
back, and a tolerant grin on his bearded lips.
I was practising putting on a green set aside for that purpose, and
Carter saw me and motioned me to come to him. He introduced Harding, who
shook hands and then glanced curiously at my putter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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