John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor lifeAdams, Frederick Upham
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John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor life
Adams, Frederick Upham
Humorous stories; Outdoor life -- Fiction
I do not know how to account for Miss Harding's improved playing. It was
not in the least like that of the day when we were alone. For the entire
eighteen holes she played steady, consistent golf. It was not brilliant,
but it was a creditable exhibition for a woman. She kept on the course,
missed only two drives, and rarely failed to get distance and direction.
Not until we had played half-way around and Harding was hopelessly
behind did he give voice to his amazement.
"This is the time you have got the old man down and out, Kid," he said,
after she had made the ninth hole in four to his fourteen. "I'll admit
that there is a trick about this game that I'm not on to, but you just
wait; you just wait. I seem to hit 'em all right, but confound 'em, they
don't go right. I don't understand it. I'd have bet a million dollars
against a perfecto cigar that I could drive a ball farther than a
125-pound girl, even if she is my daughter."
"We will call our bet off, Mr. Harding," I suggested, satisfied that we
had tumbled him from the pedestal reared by his conceit.
"We'll call nothing off," he promptly declared. "Soak it to me as hard
as you can; I'll get even with all of you before the season's over."
No language can describe the game played by the railway magnate. His
miserable playing was supplemented by worse luck. A predatory cow
swallowed his ball. He drove another one into the crotch of a tree, hit
Carter in the shin, broke a window in the club house, tore his trousers,
sprained his thumb, and poisoned his hands with ivy while searching for
a lost ball. He conversed much with himself when Miss Harding was not
near.
The nicks in his club by which he kept score became so numerous, and
they so weakened the shaft, that he finally broke it; also one of the
commandments.
The story of his calamities and of his undoing is feebly indicated by
his score, which was as follows:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Out-- 19 11 5 7 12 9 8 16 14--101
In--- 8 6 10 5 7 7 11 5 12-- 71
---
Total --172
Miss Harding made it in 116, and with a reasonable amount of luck I am
sure she would have done much better. I played a rattling good game,
completing the round in 80, which is the best score I have made this
season.
I put it all over Carter, who had made me a side bet of the dinners for
the four of us that his individual score would be better than mine.
Miss Harding won an automobile which will cost not less than $15,000; I
won fifty-six dozen golf balls, enough to last me two years; Carter lost
a dinner which I thoroughly enjoyed, and Mr. Harding lost his temper,
but I will give him credit for finding it the moment the game was over.
He laughed as if it were the greatest joke in the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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