John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor lifeAdams, Frederick Upham
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John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor life
Adams, Frederick Upham
Humorous stories; Outdoor life -- Fiction
"I did not dare choose you for my partner, Mr. Smith," interposed Miss
Dangerfield. "I know it is tiresome for a good player to go pottering
around the links with women at his heels, and only suggested a game if
you had no other engagements."
"Mr. Smith dare not plead another engagement," asserted Miss Ross, her
dark eyes flashing a challenge. She is a lovely girl, but digs up the
turf terribly.
"Smith has no game on. He has been over there talking for an hour,"
added Thomas, before I could say a word. I could have murdered him.
"I am delighted, and it is kind of you to ask me," I lied most
effusively. "It is an easy game for us, Miss Dangerfield."
"Do not be too sure," scornfully laughed Miss Rosa. "Mr. Thomas is a
splendid player."
"But he cannot equal Mr. Smith," declared my loyal partner. "Oh, Mr.
Smith, I have heard so much of your long drives and wonderful approach
shots! It is so good of you to play with us."
"It is an unexpected pleasure," I replied, rather ashamed of myself.
I have no patience to describe in detail the game which followed. I am
usually sure on a drive, but I topped five out of the eighteen and
popped half of the others into the air.
Miss Dangerfield distinguished herself by missing her ball four
successive times from the tee. This is not the female record for this
feat, so I am informed, but it is a very creditable performance for a
young lady who selects a scratch player for her partner.
Miss Ross played my ball by mistake on two occasions, and on one of them
succeeded in almost cutting it in half. It is a mystery to me why a
woman cannot keep track of her own ball, when as a rule she does not
knock it more than twenty yards.
The ball she hits is usually a dirty, hacked-up object, but when she
goes to look for it she imagines that by some miracle it has been
transformed into a clean, white, and unmarked sphere, which has been
driven for the first time.
Carter arrived at the club shortly after our "mixed foursome" had
started out. He took my place, he and Boyd playing Marshall and
Chilvers. Our orbits crossed several times.
Miss Dangerfield found three balls. One of them belonged to Chilvers,
and he saw her find it, but he is a perfect gentleman and did not say a
word. It was the one redeeming incident in the game.
Miss Dangerfield confided to me that she is making a collection of
balls.
"I am awfully lucky," she said, looking critically at Chilvers' ball.
"Whenever I find one I keep it as a memento of the game; that is, of
course, if it is nice and clean like this one."
"As a memento?" I inquired.
"Certainly," she declared. "I have a cute little brush and some water
colours. I paint the date of discovery on the ball and add it to my
collection. Sometimes I paint flowers on the ball, and sometimes birds
and other things. You should see my collection! Don't you think it's a
real cute idea?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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