John Ingerfield, and Other StoriesJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
John Ingerfield, and Other Stories
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories
My aunt, indeed, was so much pleased with him that she gave him two
shillings towards his own expenses (“sprung half a dollar” was how he
explained the transaction when we were outside), and commended me to
his especial care.
Skegson was very silent during the journey. An idea was evidently
maturing in his mind. At the Angel he stopped and said: “Look here,
I’ll tell you what we’ll do. Don’t let’s go and see that rot. Let’s go
to a Music Hall.”
I gasped for breath. I had heard of Music Halls. A stout lady had
denounced them across our dinner table on one occasion—fixing the while
a steely eye upon her husband, who sat opposite and seemed
uncomfortable—as low, horrid places, where people smoked and drank, and
wore short skirts, and had added an opinion that they ought to be put
down by the police—whether the skirts or the halls she did not explain.
I also recollected that our charwoman, whose son had lately left London
for a protracted stay in Devonshire, had, in conversation with my
mother, dated his downfall from the day when he first visited one of
these places; and likewise that Mrs. Philcox’s nursemaid, upon her
confessing that she had spent an evening at one with her young man, had
been called a shameless hussy, and summarily dismissed as being no
longer a fit associate for the baby.
But the spirit of lawlessness was strong within me in those days, so
that I hearkened to the voice of Skegson, the tempter, and he lured my
feet from the paths that led to virtue and Sadler’s Wells, and we
wandered into the broad and crowded ways that branch off from the Angel
towards Merry Islington.
Skegson insisted that we should do the thing in style, so we stopped at
a shop near the Agricultural Hall and purchased some big cigars. A huge
card in the window claimed for these that they were “the most
satisfactory twopenny smokes in London.” I smoked two of them during
the evening, and never felt more satisfied—using the word in its true
sense, as implying that a person has had enough of a thing, and does
not desire any more of it, just then—in all my life. Where we went, and
what we saw, my memory is not very clear upon. We sat at a little
marble table. I know it was marble because it was so hard, and cool to
the head. From out of the smoky mist a ponderous creature of strange,
undefined shape floated heavily towards us, and deposited a squat
tumbler in front of me containing a pale yellowish liquor, which
subsequent investigation has led me to believe must have been Scotch
whisky. It seemed to me then the most nauseous stuff I had ever
swallowed. It is curious to look back and notice how one’s tastes
change.
I reached home very late and very sick. That was my first dissipation,
and, as a lesson, it has been of more practical use to me than all the
good books and sermons in the world could have been. I can remember to
this day standing in the middle of the room in my night-shirt, trying
to catch my bed as it came round.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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