_Grandpapa._ "BUT FOR SEVENTY YEARS, MY CHILD, I HAVE FOUND THAT THE MODERATE USE OF THE GOOD THINGS OF THIS LIFE HAS DONE ME GOOD." _Young Hopeful Teetotaller._ "ALL A MISTAKE, GRANDPA', TOTAL ABSTINENCE IS THE THING. LOOK AT ME! I'VE NOT TASTED WINE OR BEER FOR YEARS!"] MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES Of HORSEKEEPING. [Illustration: No. VIII. MR. BRIGGS'S PRESENT HORSE DOESN'T QUITE SUIT HIM, FOR, SOMEHOW, WHENEVER HE JUMPS, MR. B. IS SURE TO FALL OFF. HE TAKES HIM TO AN EMINENT DEALER, AND REMARKS CONFIDENTLY THAT HE IS FOR SALE, UPON WHICH THE DEALER SAYS: "HOW MUCH A POUND IF HE BUYS THE WHOLE OF HIM?"] [Illustration: _A LITTLE BIT OF HUMBUG._ _Shoemaker._ "I THINK, MUM, WE HAD BETTER MAKE A PAIR. YOU SEE, MUM, YOURS IS SUCH A REMARKABLY LONG AND NARRER FOOT!"] [Illustration: _CHURCH AND STATE._] [Illustration: _NOT TO BE PLAYED WITH._ _Groom._ "THAT'S ANOTHER FAVOURITE OSS OF MASTER'S, SIR, AND A GOOD UN HE IS TOO, SIR, ONLY HE AIN'T VERY QUIET." _Mr. Green._ "OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN--'NOT VERY QUIET?'" _Groom._ "WHY, SIR, HE'D GET YOU UP IN A CORNER, AND KICK YER BRAINS OUT IN NO TIME. HE'S A'MOST KILLED TWO MEN ALREADY."] [Illustration: _BARRACK LIFE._ _First Heavy Swell (lately absent)._ "WELL, 'GUS, MY BOY--HOW DID YOU KEEP IT UP HERE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?" _Second Do._ "OH! IT WAS TERRIBLY SLOW--FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE A SUNDAY WITHOUT 'BELL'S LIFE!'"] [Illustration: _NORTH-EAST WIND, THERMOMETER SEVERAL INCHES BELOW FREEZING._ _Brighton Boatman._ "DID YOU WANT A PLEASURE BOAT THIS MORNING, SIR? NICE DAY FOR A ROW!!"] MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING. [Illustration: No. IX. THE FROST GOES, AND MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE IS DISAGREEABLY FRESH AFTER HIS LONG REST. HE SETS UP HIS BACK AND SQUEAKS AND PLUNGES AT EVERYTHING HE MEETS.] [Illustration: _A PLAYFUL CREATURE._ _Cabby._ "DON'T BE ALARMED, SIR, IT'S ONLY HIS PLAY."] [Illustration: _THE MORNING AFTER THE DERBY._ _First Gent._ "WELL, NED, HOW DID WE GET HOME LAST NIGHT?" _Second Gent._ "OH, I DON'T KNOW! DIDN'T I GO HOME WITH YOU?"] [Illustration: _A MAN ABOUT TOWN._ "WHERE SHALL I SAY YOU'RE GONE TO, JIM, IF ANYONE CALLS?" "OH, THE OLD SHOP--KENSINGTON GARDENS, TO HEAR THE BAND PLAY!"] [Illustration: _TASTE._ "THAT'S A STUNNING PIN, FRANK!" "YA-AS.--I'VE GOT A SET OF WAISTCOAT BUTTONS TO MATCH--LOOK JOLLY AT NIGHT--I ASSURE YAH!"] [Illustration: _MR. VERDANT'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT BOOK-MAKING._ _Verdant's Friend._ "WELL--AS NEAR AS I CAN MAKE IT OUT--YOU _MUST_ LOSE £150, AND _MAY_ LOSE £300." [VERDANT _subsides into his Book_.] MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING. [Illustration: No. I. _PREMONITORY SYMPTOMS OF MR. BRIGGS'S HUNTING FEVER._ _Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MA'AM, THERE'S A YOUTH IN THE PASSAGE AS WANTS TO KNOW IF THESE TOP BOOTS IS ALL RIGHT."] [Illustration: PLAIN SPEAKING. _Amiable Young Lady No. 1._ "PRETTY! OH, DEAR NO--DO YOU?" _Amiable Young Lady No. 2._ "LAW! NOT AT ALL. BESIDES, HOW ABOMINABLY AFFECTED SHE IS!"]