_Mr. Muff._ "BELONGS TO _ME_, I FANCY" &C. &C. &C.] [Illustration: _LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP._ "WO--MARE. HANG IT!--ANYTHING IN REASON I DON'T MIND; BUT, AS A FATHER OF A FAMILY, I DON'T FEEL JUSTIFIED IN GOING AT SUCH A GATE AS THAT."] [Illustration: _HOW KIND._ _Cruel Little Puth._ "OH, HARRIET DEAR--PUT ON YOUR HAT AND LET US THEE THE STEAMBOAT COME IN. THE THEA IS THO ROUGH!--AND THE PEOPLE WILL BE _SO_ ABTHURDLY THICK!!!"] [Illustration: _FOLKESTONE.--ARRIVAL OF THE BOULOGNE BOAT. WIND S.W._] [Illustration: _AN ANXIOUS MOMENT._ "DON'T MOVE THERE, WE SHALL CLEAR YOU!"] [Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE KNOWING THE COUNTRY._ _Huntsman (to Officer going Abroad)._ "PLEASE BE SO GOOD, SIR, AS GIVE MY RESPECTS TO MASTER HARRY." _Officer._ "OH! BUT MY BROTHER IS IN THE WEST INDIES, AND I AM GOING TO THE EAST." _Huntsman_. "MAYHAP YOU'LL MEET AT T'COVER SIDE ALL THE SAME, SIR."] [Illustration: _COOL ASSURANCE._ _Undergraduate._ "YOU DON'T OBJECT TO SMOKING, I HOPE?" _Old Party (probably a Director)._ "YES, SIR. I OBJECT VERY MUCH INDEED! IN FACT, I HAVE THE STRONGEST OBJECTION TO SMOKING!!!" _Undergraduate._ "HM! HA! SOME PEOPLE HAVE." [_Smokes for the next fifty miles._] [Illustration: _FASHIONS FOR FAST MEN._ _Tom._ "WHICH DO YOU LIKE BEST FOR TROUSERS, BILL, CHECKS OR STRIPES?" _Bill._ "WELL, I THINK CHECKS ARE UNCOMMON SUPERIOR, BUT STRIPES IS MOST NOBBY."] [Illustration: THOSE SHOCKING CLUBS. _Charley (who is rather addicted to betting)._"--AND TALKING OF GOODWOOD RACES, WE'VE GOT SUCH A JOLLY SWEEP AT OUR CLUB!" _Constance._ "A SWEEP, CHARLES!--WELL! I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH OF YOUR CLUB FRIENDS, BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU ASSOCIATED WITH PEOPLE OF THAT SORT!"] [Illustration: _IN A VERY BAD WAY._ "WHY, YOU SEEM QUITE WRETCHED, FRANK!" "WRETCHED, MY BOY! AH, YOU MAY IMAGINE HOW WRETCHED I AM, WHEN I TELL YOU I DON'T EVEN CARE HOW MY TWOWSERS ARE MADE!"] _THE PERILS OF A COURT PRESENTATION._ [Illustration: BEFORE PAYING HER RESPECTS AT ST. JAMES'S.] [Illustration: AFTER PAYING HER RESPECTS AT ST. JAMES'S.] [Illustration: _FRIGHTFUL._ _Clara._ "WELL, ROSE, DEAR, AND HOW DO YOU FEEL AFTER THE PARTY?" _Rose._ "OH, PRETTY WELL; ONLY I HAVE HAD SUCH A HORRID DREAM! DO YOU KNOW, I DREAMT THAT THAT GREAT STUPID CAPTAIN DRAWLER UPSET A DISH OF TRIFLE OVER MY NEW LACE DRESS WITH THE BLUE SLIP?"] [Illustration: _TRUTH IS GREAT._ _Unsophisticated Little Girl._ "NOW, YOU A'DONE, BILLY. IF YOU AIN'T QUIET DIRECTLY, I'LL GIVE YER TO THIS GREAT, BIG HUGLY MAN!" [_Immense delight of Swell in gorgeous array._] [Illustration: _A DELUSION._ _Dean._ "WELL, SIR?" _Small University Man (under the impression that he has irritated the Dean by his conspicuous moustachios)._ "I BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO SPEAK TO ME, SIR, ABOUT--ABOUT--MY MOUSTACHIOS!" _Dean._ "SOME MISTAKE, SIR! I DIDN'T PERCEIVE THAT YOU HAD ANY!"] [Illustration: _MISPLACED CONFIDENCE._