_Amelia._ "MAMMA, DEAR! HERE'S A NOTE FROM DEAR WILLIAM, WITH A BOX FOR THE OPERA, I SHOULDN'T WONDER." (_Reads_):--"_My darling Amelia, Circumstances over which I have no control will take me as far as Greenwich. I have left my Latch-key--please to get it from the Waistcoat I took off, and send it by the Bearer to your ever affectionate Kidums._"] [Illustration: _A PEACE CONFERENCE._ _Flora._ "OH, I AM SO GLAD--DEAR HARRIET--THERE IS A CHANCE OF PEACE--I AM MAKING THESE SLIPPERS AGAINST DEAR ALFRED COMES BACK!" _Cousin Tom._ "HAH, WELL!--I AIN'T QUITE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT PEACE--FOR, YOU SEE, SINCE THOSE SOLDIER CHAPS HAVE BEEN ABROAD, WE CIVILIANS HAVE HAD IT PRETTY MUCH OUR OWN WAY WITH THE GURLS!"] [Illustration: _A POSER._ _Darling._ "OH, MAMMA, DEAR! WHAT SPLENDID FLOWERS!" _Mamma._ "YES, DEAR, PUT IT DOWN. THAT IS MY WREATH. I'M GOING TO THE OPERA!" _Darling._ "OH! AND WHEN I GROW A BIG LADY, MAY I WEAR A WREATH, AND GO TO THE OPERA?" _Mamma._ "WELL, DEAR, I HOPE SO!" _Darling._ "WHAT, AND TAKE MY BEAUTIFUL VELVET AND GOLD CHURCH SERVICE UNCLE CHARLES GAVE ME?"] [Illustration: _THE PICNIC.--OVERTAKEN BY THE TIDE._] [Illustration: _AN OBJECT OF ATTRACTION._ BOWKER, WHO IS FOND OF NICE THINGS FOR BREAKFAST, AND SOMETIMES MARKETS FOR HIMSELF, BECOMES AN OBJECT OF INTEREST FROM HAVING LAID IN A FEW BLOATERS, AND HALF-A-POUND OF FRESH CAMBRIDGE SAUSAGES, FROM BOND STREET--AND WHICH SAUSAGES AND BLOATERS ARE IN HIS COAT-POCKET.] [Illustration: _A STRONG-BACKED CAR. SCENE--IRELAND._ _Tourist._ "WELL, BUT MY GOOD FELLOW, YOU CAN'T CARRY US, AND ALL OUR LUGGAGE!" _Car Driver._ "OGH, NIVER FEAR, YER 'ONOUR, SHURE I'D CARRY _TWICED_ AS MUCH!"] [Illustration: _THE NEW PURCHASE._ _Mr. Muff._ "BUT--THEY SAID HE WAS WELL KNOWN IN THIS HUNT!" _Farmer._ "OH, YES--AND SO HE IS VERY WELL KNOWN. HE'S BROKE MORE COLLAR BONES THAN ALL THE 'OSSES IN ENGLAND." [Illustration: _AQUATIC MANOEUVRES._ BY MUCH THE PLEASANTEST WAY OF SEA-BATHING IS TO TAKE A BOAT, AND HAVE A GOOD SWIM IN THE CLEAR BLUE WATER--AND ISN'T IT NICE SCRAMBLING INTO THE BOAT AGAIN! EH?] [Illustration: _A PAINFUL SUBJECT._ _Lieutenant Fopson_ (_of the 121st, to his Elder Brother, who is home for the Holidays_).--"A-SAY, OLD FELLAH!--DON'T YOU WISH YOU HAD LEFT SCHOOL?--IT MUST BE SUCH A HORRID BAW TO BE FLOGGED FOR SMOKING!"] [Illustration: _THE NEW REGULATION MESS._ _Swell Soldier._ "WHAT, DINE OFF WOAST AND BOILED, JUST LIKE SNOBS--NO!--BY JOVE!--I SHALL CUT THE ARMY, AND GO INTO THE CHURCH!"] [Illustration: _THE GREAT TOBACCO CONTROVERSY._ _Clara_ (_emphatically_). "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, FRANK--I SHALL ALWAYS THINK IT A _NASTY_, _ODIOUS_, _DIRTY_, _FILTHY_, _DISGUSTING_, AND _MOST OBJECTIONABLE_ HABIT!" _Frank._ "HAW!--NOW, I'M REALLY SURPRISED, CLARA, TO HEAR SUCH A CLEVER GIRL AS YOU ARE RUNNING DOWN SMOKING IN SUCH STRONG LANGUAGE--FOR IT'S ADMITTED, BY ALL SENSIBLE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, THAT IT'S THE _ABUSE OF TOBACCO_ THAT'S WRONG!"