THIS JOLLY OLD PATER KNOWS WHAT A SMILING WELCOME AWAITS HIM WHEN HE BRINGS HIS TREASURES HOME.] [Illustration: _JACK ASHORE._ _Policeman._ "HULLO, JACK! I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT SORRY TO COME ON LAND FOR A BIT?" _Jack_ (_who hasn't got his shore legs yet_). "WELL, IT AIN'T SUCH A BAD PLACE FOR A DAY OR TWO--ONLY IT'S SO PRECIOUS DIFFICULT TO WALK STRAIGHT!"] [Illustration: _ADDING INSULT TO INJURY._] [Illustration: _AFFECTING INCIDENT AT BOULOGNE._ OUR FRIEND, 'ARRY BELVILLE, IS SO KNOCKED ALL OF A HEAP BY THE BEAUTY OF THE FOREIGN FISH-GIRLS, THAT HE OFFERS HIS 'AND AND 'ART TO THE LOVELY PAULINE.] [Illustration: _EXCITEMENT._ "RUN, BILL--RUN AND BRING HISABELLER--HERE'S A CHIMNEY A-FI-ER!!"] [Illustration: _ROMANCE OF A BOTTLE._ _Mr. Bounce._ "I TELL YOU WHAT, OLD BOY, FINISH THAT, AND YOU SHALL HAVE SOME OF MY _PECULIAR_ OLD PORT. I'VE HAD IT IN BOTTLE MYSELF NINE YEARS."] [Illustration: THIS IS THE PECULIAR OLD PORT.] [Illustration: _AN UNWELCOME VISITOR._ THE DISTURBER OF THE PEACE OF PRIVATE FAMILIES.] [Illustration] [Illustration: _THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._ _Foot Boy._ "WELL, SIR, MASTER HIS AT 'OME, BUT HE'S CONFINED TO HIS ROOM. HE'S A GROWIN' OF HIS MOOSTARSHERS, AND AIN'T ALLOWED TO SEE NOBODY BUT HIS 'AIRDRESSER."] [Illustration: _QUITE AN EXQUISITE._ _Commercial Gent._ "THIS WAR, SIR, WILL BE A TERRIBLE HINDRANCE TO ALL KINDS OF BUSINESS!" _Swell._ "AW--DESSAY! D'LIGHTED TO HEAR IT--A ALWAYS HAD THE GWEATEST AVERSION T' ALL KINDS OF BUSINESS."] [Illustration: _FLUNKEIANA._ _Lady's-Maid._ "WELL, I'M SURE, MR. ROBERT! I THINK YOU MIGHT FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN LOLLOPING ABOUT IN THAT GREAT EASY CHAIR. YOU MIGHT GO AND HELP IN THE HAY-FIELD, ONE WOULD THINK!" _Flunkey._ "OH, YES! AND A NICE FIGGER _I_ SHOULD BE! WOT WOULD MISSUS SAY, PRAY, IF I WENT AND SPYLED MY COMPLEXION, AND MADE MY 'ANDS 'ARD?"] [Illustration: _PRIVATE OPINION._ _Lieutenant Whobble_ (_who has just been embodied_). "HAH! THIS IS SOMETHING LIKE! INFINITELY BETTER THAN THE RIDICULOUS OLD COATEE!!"] [Illustration: _A PRETTY GENERAL DELUSION._ _Mr. Kiddlums._ "WELL, ELIZABETH--I HOPE WE SHALL HAVE A PRIZE BABY SHOW HERE--AND THEN--I FLATTER MYSELF--...."] [Illustration: _WHAT MUST BE THE NEXT FASHION IN BONNETS._] [Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._ _Servant_ (_rushing in_). "OH! GRACIOUS GOODNESS, MASTER! THERE'S THE KITCHEN CHIMLEY A-FIRE--AND TWO PARISH INGINS KNOCKING AT THE STREET DOOR!"] [Illustration: _GOING TO A PARTY._ _Exquisite._ "AW, DRIVAW--HAVE YOU A GOOD HORSE?" _Cabman._ "YES, SIR! A WERRY GOOD OSS." _Exquisite._ "AW! THEN DRA-IVE ME TO NEXT DOOR."] [Illustration: _A MAN OF PRINCIPLE._ WHEN COALS ARE SO DEAR, IT BEHOVES EVERY FAMILY MAN TO SEE THAT HE GETS THE PROPER NUMBER OF SACKS FOR HIS MONEY. PATERFAMILIAS DOES HIS DUTY LIKE A MAN, ALTHOUGH THE COALS ARRIVE JUST AT HIS DINNER-TIME, AND THE WEATHER IS RATHER INCLEMENT.] [Illustration: _IN THE RANKS._ _First Militia-man._ "JIM, YOU BAIN'T IN STEP."