_Admiring Friend._ "WHY FRANK! WHAT A CAPITAL DODGE!" _Frank._ "A--YA-AS. MY BEARD IS SUCH A BORE, THAT I HAVE TAKEN A HINT FROM THE FAIR SEX."] [Illustration: _THE MARRIAGE QUESTION._ _Brown._ "SO, YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY OLD MRS. YELLOWBOYCE. WELL, I THINK YOU'RE A DOOCED LUCKY FELLAH!" _Jones._ "BY JOVE, I DON'T THINK THE LUCK IS ALL ON MY SIDE! IF SHE FINDS MONEY, HANG IT, I FIND BLOOD AND--HAW--BEAUTY!"] [Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE MOUNTAIN AIR._ _Tourist (who has been refreshing himself with the Toddy of the Country)._ "I SHAY, OLE FLER! HIGHLANDS SEEM TO 'GREE WITH YOU WONERFLY--ANNOMISHTAKE. WHY, YOU LOOK DOUBLE THE MAN ALREADY!"] [Illustration: _SUBJECT FOR A PICTURE._ _Photographer._ "NOW, SIR! 'AVE YER CART DE VISIT DONE?"] [Illustration: _CANINE._ _Patron._ "WELL, BUT YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY THAT SUCH A DAWG AS THAT COULD DRAW A BADGER?" _Fancier._ "NOT DRAW A BADGER? WHY, BLESS YER 'ART, IT WOULD BE A LITTLE 'OLIDAY TO HIM!"] [Illustration: _HINT TO TRAVELLERS._ IF YOU ARE OBLIGED TO CROSS THE CHANNEL, GET AS NEAR MID-SHIPS AS POSSIBLE (NEVER MIND THE MOVEMENT OF THE ENGINES, OR THE SMELL OF THE OIL), AND--IT WILL BE SOONER OVER.] [Illustration: _LATEST FROM ABROAD--POWDER AND ALL THE REST OF IT._ _Old Miss Fribble._ "HEM! CUT THESE OLD-FASHIONED MINXES OUT--FLATTER MYSELF!"] [Illustration: _THE CLERICAL BEARD MOVEMENT._ WE DO NOT FOR ONE MOMENT PRESUME TO SAY WHETHER IT IS RIGHT OR WRONG,--ONLY, IF THIS SORT OF THING IS TO PREVAIL, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF CAPTAIN HEAVYSWELL?] [Illustration: "_BY YOUR LEAVE!_" _Porter._ "NOW, MARM, WILL YOU PLEASE TO MOVE, OR WAS YOU CORDED TO YOUR BOX?"] [Illustration: _SOOTHING EXPLANATION._ _Cabby._ "YOU'VE NO CALL TO GET OUT, SIR! HE'S ONLY A LITTLE OKARD AT STARTIN'!"] [Illustration: _RESOURCES OF THE ESTABLISHMENT._ _Old Tourist._ "PRAY, WAITER, IS THERE ANYTHING TO WILE AWAY THE TIME UNTIL THE DINNER-HOUR?" _Waiter._ "YESSIR; WHICH WOULD YOU PLEASE TO TAKE, SIR?--_WINE_ OR _SPIRITS_, SIR?"] [Illustration: _A LIKELY CASE._ _Fiery Instructor to trembling Pupil._ "NOW, SIR! COME! I KNOW YOU! DON'T ATTEMPT TO BULLY ME, SIR--IT WON'T SUCCEED, I CAN TELL YOU!"] [Illustration: _RATHER VULGAR, BUT PERFECTLY TRUE._ _Boatman (in the distance)._ "I SAY, JACK, GOT A MOSSEL O' BAIT TO SPARE?" JACK. "WELL, I CAN'T LET YER HAVE NO WUMS; BUT I DON'T MIND LENDING YER A BIT O' BULLOCK'S LIVER TO OBLIGE A LADY!"] [Illustration: _STOLEN PLEASURES ARE SWEET._ PORTRAIT OF TOMKINS, UNDER THE DELUSION THAT THE PUBLIC TAKES THE OLD GENTLEMAN'S GROOM FOR HIS.] [Illustration: _THE CABMAN'S GUIDE._ _Lady._ "OH! PLEASE CABMAN, DRIVE ME TO ST. BARNABAS' CHURCH. YOU GO UP EBURY STREET, AND TAKE----" _Cabman._ "I KNOW--HOPPOSITE THE THREE COMPASSES!"] [Illustration: _FALSE ALARM, SURELY!_ _Miss Priscilla (with the Dog)._ "YES, IT'S THE WORST OF THESE WATERING-PLACES. THERE ARE SO MANY ADVENTURERS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR WIVES, THAT ONE IS ALWAYS IN FEAR OF BEING PROPOSED TO!"]