Just after this I decided to move my quarters. Pushkin was beginning to
come again to the old Drummer's house, I did not know why--and though I
did not meet him I could not bear to be under the same roof with him. I
began to feel, too, the change in the household. Elsa had begun to
change somehow. Instead of the little carols and snatches like
bird-songs that I used to hear before she went to her work, or in the
evening when she returned, there was silence and sometimes sighs, and in
place of smiles, gloom. Her face lost its bloom. I wondered what the
poor thing was distressing herself about. My young Swede, too, whom I
still occasionally saw, appeared to have lost that breezy freshness and
glow which always reminded me of country meadows and upland hay-fields,
and looked downcast and moody. In place of his good-humored smile, his
ruddy face began to wear a glowering, sullen look; and finally he
disappeared. The mother, also, changed, and her voice, formerly so
cheery and pleasant, had a sharper tone than I had ever heard in it
before, and even the old drummer wore a cloudier air, wholly different
from his old-time cheeriness. In fact, the whole house had changed from
the nest of content that it had been, and I began to plan moving to a
better neighborhood which my improving practice appeared to justify. The
chief thing that withheld me was that radiant glimpse of Miss Leigh
which I sometimes got of a morning as she came tripping along the street
with her little basket in her hand, and her face sweet with high
thoughts. It set me up all day; attended me to my office, and filled it
with sunshine and hope. Moreover, I was beginning to find in my
association with John Marvel a certain something which I felt I should
miss. He calmed me and gave me resolution. It appeared strange that one
whom I had always looked down on should so affect me, but I could no
longer hide it from myself. But against this reason for remaining I set
the improvement in my condition that a better lodging-place would
indicate. After a time, my broad-shouldered young Swedish car-driver
came back and I was glad I had remained. Several times in the evening I
found him in the house dressed up with shiny hair, a very bright
necktie, and a black coat, the picture of embarrassed happiness, and
Elsa sitting up and looking prim and, I fancied, a trifle bored, though
it might have been only demureness. When I heard her singing again, I
assumed that it was the latter expression, and not the former, which I
had observed. However, I came in one night and heard Pushkin's voice in
the house and I was again at sea. Elsa in all the gayety of her best
frock and ribbons, dashed by me as I mounted the stair to my room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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