I sprang up to follow her, to make my explanation to her; but though,
after the first twenty steps, she stopped running and came down to a
walk, it was still a rapid walk, and she was fleeing from me. I felt as
though the gates of Paradise were closing on me. I followed her at a
distance to see that she reached home safely, and with a vain hope that
she might slacken her gait and so give me an excuse to make such
explanation as I could. She, however, kept on, and soon after she passed
beyond the park I saw a trap draw up beside the pavement, and, after a
moment in which the driver was talking to her, a young man sprang out
and throwing the reins to a groom, joined her and walked on with her. In
the light of the street lamp I recognized young Canter. I turned back
cursing him; but most of all, cursing myself.
It has been well observed that there is no more valuable asset which a
young man can possess than a broken heart. In the ensuing weeks I bore
about with me if not a broken, at least a very much bruised and wounded
one. It is a tragic fact in the course of mortality that a slip of a
girl should have the power to shut the gates of happiness on a man.
There were times when I rebelled against myself at being as big a fool
as I knew myself to be, and endeavored to console myself by reverting to
those wise bits of philosophy which our friends are always offering to
us in our distress from their vantage ground of serene indifference.
There were doubtless as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it, but
I was not after fishing--somehow I could not get a grasp on the idea
that there were as lovely and attractive girls in the world whom I was
likely to meet as Eleanor Leigh, whom I now felt I had lost and might
possibly never recover.
I walked the streets for some time that evening in a very low state of
mind, and Dix, as he trudged solemnly along with his head now against my
leg, now a step in the rear, must have wondered what had befallen me. By
midnight he looked as dejected as I felt. Even when at length, having
formulated my letter, I took him out for a run, he did not cheer up as
he usually did. That dog was very near a human being. He sometimes
appeared to know just what went on in my mind. He looked so confoundedly
sorry for me that night that I found it a real consolation. He had the
heart of a woman and the eyes of an angel. The letter I wrote was one of
the best pieces of advocacy I ever did. I set forth the facts simply and
yet clearly and, I felt, strongly. I told the plain truth about the
paper, and I had the sense not to truckle, even while I expressed my
regret that my work had been made the basis of the unauthorized and
outrageous attack on her father and the lie about herself. With regard
to the rights of the public and the arrogance of the class that ran the
railways and other quasi-public corporations, I stood to my guns.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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