I was happy enough at first, and it was well I was. It was a long time
before I was happy again. Having in mind Miss Leigh, I wrote and secured
a few letters of introduction; but they were from people who did not
care anything for me to people who did not care anything about
them--semi-fashionable folk, mainly known in social circles, and I had
no money to throw away on society. One, indeed, a friend of mine had
gotten for me from Mr. Poole to a man of high standing both in business
and social circles, the president of a manufacturing company, with
which, as I learned later, Mr. Poole had formerly some connection. This
gentleman's name was Leigh, and I wondered if he were the same person
who had been posted by Kalender at the head of my story of the delayed
train. I thought of presenting the letter. It, however, was so guarded
that I thought it would not do me the least good, and, besides, I did
not wish to owe anything to Lilian Poole's father, for I felt sure his
influence had always been against me, and I was still too sore to be
willing to accept a favor at his hands.
It was well I did not present it, for Mr. Poole with well-considered and
characteristic prudence, had written a private letter restricting the
former letter to mere social purposes, and had intimated that I had been
a failure in my profession and was inclined to speculate. This character
he had obtained, as I subsequently learned, from Peck.
The new conditions with which I was confronted had a singular effect on
me. I was accustomed to a life where every one knew me and I knew, if
not every one, at least something good or bad about every one.
Here I might have committed anything short of murder or suicide without
comment, and might have committed both without any one outside of the
reporters and the police and Dix caring a straw about it.
I felt peculiarly lonely because I was inclined to be social and
preferred to associate with the first man I met on the street to being
alone. In fact, I have always accounted it one of my chief blessings
that I could find pleasure and entertainment for a half-hour in the
company of any man in the world except a fool or a man of fashion, as
the old writers used to speak of them, or as we call them now, members
of the smart set.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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