I tell you that when I come into this great and growing town, and see the vast number of men who are nourished by its growing prosperity, and when I feel the ties of duty which bind me to them; when I consider the hopes which they fix on me and the affectionate and precious regard with which for my father's sake they look on me; when it comes home to me that I must perforce do great good or great evil to them; and when, on the other hand, my self-knowledge sets before me my own few years, my inexperience, my weakness, my many faults, my limited ability, my loneliness, the weight of responsibility which lies on me seems sometimes absolutely crushing. But it will not do to be {57} crushed by it, and I do not mean to be. I mean to try to do my best for this place to the end of my life, and to do this I would ask you to help me. [Illustration: CARDIFF CASTLE.] [Sidenote: 1868, Rejoicings at Cardiff] The rejoicings at Cardiff, which lasted a full week, included the public roasting of two oxen, one in the old river-bed, the other at the head of the west dock. The Corporation also entertained Bute to a banquet, of which the bill of fare is worth reproducing, as a specimen of the Gargantuan scale on which such things were done in mid-Victorian days: _Soups_.--Mock turtle, ox-tail, Julienne, vermicelli. _Fish_.--Turbot and lobster sauce, mullet _à la cardinal_, crimped cod and oyster sauce, filets de sole. _Removes_.--Haunch venison, boiled leg of lamb, roast beef, green goose, rouleau of veal, ragout sausages, roast chicken, boiled turkey (Bechamel), braised rump beef, saddle mutton, turkey _à la royale_, forced calves' head, ducks, rouleau of venison, boiled chicken, tongues, hams. _Entrées_.--Sweetbreads _à la Princesse_, lamb-cutlets au Jersey, compôt of pigeons, fillet of chicken _à la royale_, filet de boeuf, kidneys au champagne, pork cutlets and tomato sauce, vol-au-vent. _Game_.--Partridges, hares, grouse. _Sweets_.--Ice pudding, Snowdon pudding, plum pie and cream, macaroni au gratin, Charlotte Russe, cabinet pudding, Italian cream, pastries (various), jellies (various). The dinner, it was reported, "gave great satisfaction"; and it is only to be hoped that those of the guests who worked conscientiously through the _menu_ did not live to repent it. Bute spent the rest of the autumn, after coming of age, quietly at Cardiff, reading much, and preparing {58} himself for the important step--his reception into the Catholic Church--which he now felt himself free to take. He had already begun to obey the dietary rules prescribed to the faithful (he found them always extremely trying, though he observed them strictly all his life). My chief news [he wrote on October 24, 1868] is that I have begun to keep the laws of the Church about fasting and abstinence, and had my first fish dinner yesterday. The series of messes, fish and eggs and puddings, nearly made me sick.