He paced up and down, his coat tails back of the hands which he thrust
deep into his pockets. "I'll tell you again, since I have never spoken
of this--for fear you'd think me just a little conceited about
myself"--he smiled in a manner of deprecation, never for an instant
catching the comedy of this, more than she herself displayed proof of
her own wish to smile--"I'll tell you anyhow, though you may think I've
got a bit of vanity about myself. The truth is, I've always believed
in myself, Laura! I've kept it hidden, of course--never let a soul
know that I thought myself the least bit different from anybody else.
_You_ didn't know it, even--and you're my wife. I've been considered a
modest man all, my life. Yet, Laura, here's the truth about it--I
_wasn't_, really! I _did_ feel different from other men. I didn't
feel just like an ordinary man. I _knew_ I was not--and there's the
truth about it. I don't know exactly how to tell you, but I've always
known, as sure as anything, that some day I'd be a rich man."
II
She sat looking at him seriously, her elbows resting on the table, her
gray eyes following him as he walked, his face serious, the imperious
lock of hair now fallen across his forehead.
"Not that I would let money itself be the only thing, my dear, as you
know," he went on nobly. "I wouldn't do that. Any man worth while has
larger ambitions than merely making money. After I've made money
enough, for us--more than you ever dreamed about--after I've succeeded
and proved myself--then I'm going to do something for other men--my
inferiors in life, you know--the laboring men. I suppose, after all,
people are pretty much alike in some ways. Some men are stronger than
others, more fit to succeed; but they ought to remember that after all
they are the agents of Providence, that they are custodians, Laura,
custodians. No man, Laura, no matter what his success, ought to be
wholly selfish. He oughtn't to be--well, conceited about himself, you
know. He ought to be _humble_."
She still looked after him, wondering whether, after all, he might not
be a trifle off his head; but the seriousness of his eye daunted her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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