John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
Cairo is a city of about twelve thousand inhabitants, and but for the
unhealthy nature of the low country surrounding, it would eventually
become one of the greatest cities of the Mississippi Valley. Its
geographic location is one of the best in the country, being, as it is,
at the junction of two noble rivers. But in that vicinity, the land is
so low that it becomes inundated for many miles around; so that the air,
especially in the summer season, becomes fraught with miasma. Cairo
itself is built on very low ground, and but for the high levee, that
stands as a perpetual sentinel before the gates of the city, the river
would be continually staring in at all the doors and windows in the
place. Even the levee is overflowed sometimes, and the streets become
navigable for boats of moderate size.
I went up to a periodical store, on the principal street, and purchased
several newspapers of a late date. Among them was a Louisville Journal;
and, on casting my eye over it, what was my astonishment to run across a
very flattering notice of myself, which Mr. Prentice had inserted. It
stated that “J. Smith, Esquire, the celebrated author and poet, who had
lost a limb in the civil war, was making a tour of the Western States;
had honored both him and the Mammoth Cave with a visit, and had just
departed for Saint Louis, on board the steamer Nightingale!!!”
This really alarmed me, and I fancied that every one who looked at me
recognized me as the redoubtable John Smith, the “celebrated author and
poet,” who was “making a tour of the Western States.”
Fearing that some enthusiastic demonstration might be made by the
citizens of Cairo, who had probably read of my approach, and that I
might be called upon for a speech—and I hadn’t as much as the framework
of one ready—I hastily returned to the boat, and shut myself up in my
stateroom, and did not sally forth again till the Nightingale was
steaming gallantly up the Mississippi.
Nothing worthy of note occurred during our voyage up the river, except
that the mosquitoes tormented us in a style entirely new to me. They
were about the first crop of the season, fresh and vigorous, and they
attacked the boat in numbers amounting to millions of millions. O, the
misery of that night! How the little fiends tormented me! Warm as it
was, I shut myself up almost air-tight in my stateroom and tried to defy
them. I thought I would rather be smothered to death than eaten up
alive. But even there, they found me. They came in through the keyhole,
in two ranks, military order, and at once began the attack. I fought
bravely, but it was of no use. Faster than I could cut them down, they
received reinforcements through the keyhole—while, to utterly dishearten
me, and drive me to despair, I could hear myriads of them still without,
knocking at the door, and impatiently waiting their respective turns to
file in at the key-hole and drink some of me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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