John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
I could not stand it. I opened the back door and fled—fled to the cabin
deck—to the hurricane deck—to the boiler deck—up stairs and down—and
down and up—and back and forth, and forth and back half crazed—I knew
not, cared not, where! I had half a mind to jump into the river, and
take refuge from these and my other woes in the bosom of the Father of
Waters—but didn’t.
They pursued me everywhere; some of them, I believe, went in advance of
me, to be ready to meet me at any new point I should flee to. My eyes,
ears, mouth, nose, cheeks, chin, neck, hands and wrists were covered
with them; and, while thus tormenting me, they sang musically in my
ears, even as Nero played “Hail Columbia, happy land!” on a banjo, while
Rome was burning. O, the agonies of that night! The thundering cannon of
battle, the shrieking shell, the hissing bullet, and glistening bayonet,
are mere toys compared with these fiendish tormentors! How I ever got
through the night I cannot remember distinctly. It seems like a kind of
long-continued dream to me. I have a vague recollection of standing at
the bar and asking the bar-tender if he had “anything calculated to keep
the mosquitoes away?” This scene recurs to me as having been repeated
several times that night; but I think it only originated in the imagery
of delirium—for I must have grown delirious.
The next night, for some reason, they “let up” on us a little, and I got
some sleep; and early on the second morning after leaving Cairo, we
arrived at the “Mound City,” Saint Louis, the chief city of the
Mississippi Valley. It was a charming morning, not too warm, and leaving
my trunk on board, I walked up into the city for the purpose of securing
lodgings for a month. Before I did so, the passengers had all bid each
other good-by, and were beginning to go their different ways, wondering
if any two of us should ever meet again.
My aged companion bade me a cordial farewell, and took passage on the
steamer “Post Boy,” bound up the Missouri river.
The vain _young_ “Doctor,” whom I have mentioned, went to the Southern
Hotel—one of the grandest and most aristocratic in the country—and
registered his name, stating that he would remain a couple of weeks.
That I may not be troubled to speak again of so worthless a fellow, I
will here state, that, a week after, I met another fellow-passenger in
Saint Louis, who told me that the “Doctor” had stayed four days at the
Southern Hotel, and then absconded without paying his bill. This most
pretentious and presumptuous of the passengers of the Nightingale,
proved to be an unworthy loafer and a base fraud. Such is life!
CHAPTER XXXII.
SMITH’S EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES IN THE “MOUND CITY.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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