John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
“N—no—but that need make no difference. We were just taking a little
sleigh-ride. You don’t mind a ride of an hour before you go home?”
“I am rather weary,” I replied. “I have been rattling along in the cars
for two days and two nights. Have come all the way from Peoria,
Illinois.”
“Well, jump in. We will at least take a little drive down Darby Road.
You must feel chilly. Here is something to warm you.”
This was an article of glassware, containing a genial fluid, designed
for the interior of mankind. Having availed myself of this blessing, I
sprung into the sleigh; Feeny jumped in after me; and we dashed away in
the blinding storm.
“We were just at the depot to meet a friend we expected,” said he, “but
he did not come.”
Away we went out Market street, defying even the wintry wind to outstrip
us. Instead of turning down the Darby Road, as proposed, we kept on out
Market street.
“We’ll take a little ride out this way first,” said Mr. Aaron, “then we
will return, go down Darby Road, cross Gray’s Ferry Bridge, and go
home.”
“All right!”
We had an extensive ride through West Philadelphia; and candor compels
me to say that some of the proprietors of hotels in that vicinity lost
nothing by it.
At last, we found ourselves dashing down Darby Road: the noble steeds
still fresh and vigorous, and we three “jolly boys” suffering nothing at
all from the malady known as “depression of spirits.”
Rest! I thought not of it now. I remembered not that I had slept none
for two nights. Away we went in the snow-storm; the wide fields of snow
my imaginary bed, the murky clouds my curtains, the wind and
sleigh-bells singing a merry song in concert to lull me to—wakefulness
and mirth.
We approached a certain toll-gate. What hour it was, I can never know;
but any one supposing it to be earlier than the beginning of another
day, would subject himself to great ridicule among the “posted.”
“Wonder if the toll-man’s up?” said Feeny.
“Doubtful,” responded Aaron.
“We’ll wake him, of course,” said I.
“Certainly—if we can yell loud enough.”
We dashed onward. So far from tiring, our horses seemed to gain new
strength and energy just then. The toll-gate and the little house there
situated, were very near.
We did not slacken our speed.
“Toll!” yelled Feeny, in a loud voice.
“Toll! Toll!” shouted Aaron, as we reached the gate without stopping.
“Toll! Toll! Toll!” I shrieked, in a jolly mood as we dashed by.
Alas! the keeper of the gate never had the felicity to receive that
“toll.” He did not get his _due_; but we got plenty of _snow_.
“Get up! Get up!” screamed Aaron, addressing the horses.
The animals “flew.”
The snow-covered road rushed away behind us so fast that I fancied we
were leaving the whole earth behind, and plunging away into space.
“Hurrah! Hurrah!” shouted Feeny.
“Hip-Hip-Hoowee!”
We reached the road leading to Gray’s Ferry Bridge, and Mr. Aaron, who
had the lines, drove recklessly “round the corner.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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