John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
I ARRIVED in the “Iron City,” one morning, and having registered my name
at an hotel on Grant street, I went down to the “Diamond,” to see a
friend of mine in a wholesale grocery there. Having had a talk with him
and promised to call again before leaving the city, I bade him good
morning; and, in a quiet, modest, unassuming manner, took my way up
Diamond alley, toward Grant street, intending to return to my hotel. As
I crossed Wood street, I observed a considerable crowd collected about
the corner of that street and Diamond alley, and discovered that there
was a fire in the vicinity, and that the house and goods of Openheimer &
Co., were feeding the flames. A steamer was puffing away as usual, to
try which could damage and destroy the most goods, water or fire. [This
is a question which has never been satisfactorily decided.]
Feeling no curiosity to see the fire, I crossed Wood street, passed
through the crowd, and continued up Diamond alley. I had not walked far,
and was about clear of the crowd, when an insolent voice called out near
me:
“Get out of the way, you! Do you hear? I’m Chief of Police, and am here
to keep the crowd away!” And immediately, before I had time to look up,
a hand was laid violently on my shoulder, and I was nearly snatched from
my foot.
Now, fancying that I was a “free white male” citizen of the United
States, “of the age of twenty-one years and upwards,” I was quite
otherwise than delighted with this extraordinary treatment at the hands
of the arrogant chief of villains; and turning upon him, and verbally
apprising him of the fact that he was a “scoundrel,” I was about to
“belt” him “over the ear” with my cane, when a quiet gentleman of
prepossessing appearance, walked up to me, restrained me in a friendly
manner, and said:
“Come, my friend, I will see you righted for this. He has treated you
shamefully. I suppose you have been a soldier; I have, too. I am General
P * * * * * *, I am also a lawyer. Come with me.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“It was an unprovoked assault,” he pursued, as we walked up Diamond
alley. “That man is Bob. H * * * *, Chief of the Police. He is a coarse,
ignorant, insolent, overbearing man. He insults every one that comes in
his way, if he happens to be a little out of humor. You do not live
here?”
“No, I live in Philadelphia. I thank you for your kindness. If you will
tell me where to find an alderman, I will have this fellow’s case
attended to.”
“Go to Alderman B * * * * *,” said he; and he directed me where to find
it. “I will be a witness, if necessary. Prefer a charge of assault and
battery against Robert H * * * *, Chief of Police, and you will find Mr.
B * * * * * a man who will do you justice.”
“Thank you; I will go at once.”
And I went to the office of Alderman B * * * * *, who did not chance to
be any bosom friend of the Chief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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