The next day the "Silver Shoe" was closed on account of the funeral.
The Grimes family sent a wreath, but Jonah looked in vain for Clara
among the mourners. He was disappointed but relieved, fearing that the
exultation in his heart would betray him in the presence of strangers.
He dwelt with rapture on the moment in which he would meet her face to
face, free to love and be loved, willing to lose some precious hours
for the sake of rehearsing schemes for the future in his mind. He
listened without emotion to the conventional regrets of the mourners,
agreeing mechanically with their empty remarks on his great loss, a
mocking devil in his brain.
The day after the funeral the Silver Shoe returned to business, and
Jonah spent the morning in the shop, too nervous to sit idle. He had
spent a sleepless night debating whether he should go to Clara or wait
till she came to him of her own accord. The shop was alive with
customers, drawn by the red-letter sale, but there was no sign of the
one woman above all he desired to see. Suddenly he decided, with a
certainty that astonished him, that she would come in the afternoon.
After dinner he stayed in the sitting-room, fidgeting with impatience.
He looked for something to do, and remembered that he had still to
clear up the mystery of Ada's drunken bout. All the shop-hands had
denied lending her money, and the mystery was increased by his finding
no bottle in the usual hiding places. Ray, when questioned about
brandy, had stared at him with bewildered eyes. And to calm his nerves
he made another search of the rooms.
He turned out the drawers and cupboards, meeting everywhere evidence of
Ada's slovenly habits. And at the sight and touch of the tawdry laces
and flaring ribbons he was surprised by an emotion of tenderness and
pity for his dead wife. He realized that the last link had snapped
that bound him to Cardigan Street and the Push. Something vibrated in
him as he thought of the woman who had shared his youth, and he
understood suddenly that no other woman could disturb her possession of
the years that were dead. Clara could share the future with him, but
half his life belonged irrevocably to Ada.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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