Judith at sixteen possessed a voluptuous body, a pious spirit, and an
inexperienced mind. Her gentle soul united in itself the gay ardors of
a child with the cloudy desires of a woman. Everything surprised her,
and everything pleased her; she was anxious to know everything, and she
knew nothing. Eager and trusting, her brown eyes explored with sympathy
but without understanding the life she saw all about her. She was happy
and dreamy by turns; but sometimes at night her pillow was wet with
tears. She would have said that something beautiful had made her cry,
perhaps a thought, perhaps a feeling. But she could not have explained
what it was, not even to Sarah, to whom she told everything. Perhaps it
was the moonlight in the courtyard, and the scent of jasmine or lotus
from the garden. But that was lovely; why should it make her cry? Such
things perplexed her.
Sometimes she wished she were a boy, so that she might go hunting with
her uncle. Then she saw herself seated on a white horse, with her green
cape blowing in the wind, galloping and shouting. But at the thought
of piercing an animal with her spear, she turned away with quick
displeasure. “No,” she thought, “I should not like to go hunting.”
And she told her uncle that she was glad she was a girl. “So am I,” he
replied, “because if you were a boy, I should be disgusted with you.”
He loved his niece, but he liked people to be active and hardy. “The
women of to-day,” he often said, “do not amount to much.
“They have no enthusiasm.”
Now Judith sat before her bronze mirror, twisting her long brown hair
into plaits. As she sat, she sang:
“_My love is a shepherd in Sharon,
By rivers he waters his sheep,
Blue are the waters of Sharon,
Rivers of Sharon are deep._”
She knew no one in Sharon. Nevertheless her nurse said to her angrily,
“Now tell me, what sort of song is that for a young girl to sing?”
Judith replied that it was just a song. She added with a smile, “You
are vexed because you do not know any shepherds, and because you have
no lover.”
“That is my own business,” said Sarah, drawing herself up with dignity.
“However, I must say that it does not become you to speak of things
like that. What do you know about love? Nothing, I sincerely hope. You
should be thinking of marriage, with respectful modesty.”
“Well,” said Judith, “as a matter of fact, I think love is silly. It
does not interest me, really. Were you ever in love? Tell me honestly,
Sarah; I cannot imagine such a thing.”
Sarah gazed gloomily at her mistress. Presently a blush overspread her
sallow countenance. “In love?” she exclaimed; “certainly not. With
what, if I may ask? The trouble with you is that your head is full of
nonsense. When I was your age I had more decorum. I was prettier than
I am to-day, and I attracted the attention of a very handsome man, a
camel driver, but such a wild one. He was not good enough for me, and I
sent him about his business. I knew my own worth.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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