Humorous stories; Love stories; Pau (France) -- Fiction
It was a glorious day, and, viewed from the verandah of the Club-house,
that smiling pleasaunce, the rolling plain of Billère was beckoning
more genially than ever.
So soon as our luncheon had settled, we were to prove its promise for
the last time.
"Yes," said Berry, "puerile as it may seem, I assumed you were coming
back. My assumption was so definite that I didn't even get out. For
one thing, Death seemed very near, and the close similarity which the
slot I was occupying bore to a coffin, had all along been too
suggestive to be ignored. Secondly, from my coign of vantage I had a
most lovely view of the pavement outside the station. I never remember
refuse looking so superb....
"Well, I don't know how long I waited, but when it seemed certain that
you were--er--detained, I emerged from my shell. I didn't like leaving
the car unattended, but as there wasn't a lock, I didn't know what to
do. Then I remembered that just as the beaver, when pursued, jettisons
some one of its organs--I forget which--and thus evades capture, so the
careful mechanic removes some vital portion of his engine to thwart the
unauthorised. I had a vague idea that the part in question was of,
with, or from the magneto. I had not even a vague idea that the latter
was protected by a network of live wires, and that one had only to
stretch out one's finger to induce a spark about a foot long and a
shock from which one will never wholly recover.... I reeled into the
station, hoping against hope that somebody _would_ be fool enough to
steal the swine....
"Yes, the buffet was closed. Of such is the city of Bordeaux.... When
I recovered consciousness I sought for you two. I asked several
officials if they had seen two gentlemen. Some walked away as if
nettled: others adopted the soothing attitude one keeps for the
inebriated. Upon reflection, I don't blame them. I had a weak case....
"At last I returned to the car. Alas, it was still there. I then had
recourse to what is known as 'the process of exhaustion.' In fact, I
found it extremely useful. By means of that process I was eventually
successful in starting the engine, and, in the same elementary way, I
got into top gear. I drew out of that yard with a running backfire
nearly blowing me out of my seat.
"Well, the general idea was to find a garage. The special one was to
hear what people said when I stopped to ask them the way. The fourth
one I asked was a chauffeur. Under his direction, one first of all
reduced the blinding stammer of the exhaust to an impressive but
respectable roar, and then proceeded in his company to a dairy, a
garage, another dairy and a hotel--in that order. I gave that chap a
skinful and fifty francs....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account