Humorous stories; Love stories; Pau (France) -- Fiction
"As I passed through the hall, a clerk dashed after me 'The _Gare du
Nord_,' he said, 'were insisting upon seeing me about a case of mine.'
I replied that I was busy all day, and could see nobody before six
o'clock. I didn't mention that my train went at five. It was as well
I didn't argue, for, as I left the hotel, a station official entered.
I leapt into a taxi and told the driver to go to _Notre Dame_. Not
that I felt like Church, but it was the first place I could think of.
Somebody shouted after me, but--well, you know how they drive in Paris.
I stopped round the second corner, discharged the taxi, and walked to a
restaurant. By rights, I should have been ravenous. As it was, the
food stuck in my throat. A bottle of lime-juice, however, pulled me
together. After luncheon I went to a cinema--I had to do something.
Besides, the darkness attracted me.... I fancy I dozed for a bit. Any
way, the first thing I remember was a couple of men being arrested in
the lounge of a hotel. It was most realistic. What was more, the
clerk who had run after me in the morning and the clerk on the screen
might have been twins.... I imagine that my hair rose upon my head,
and for the second time it seemed certain that I had mislaid my paunch.
"I got out of the place somehow, to find that it was snowing. For the
next hour I drove up and down the _Champs Elysêes_. I only hope the
driver enjoyed it more than I did. At last, when pneumonia seemed very
near, I told him to drive to the hotel.
"I fairly whipped through the hall and into the lift. As this
ascended, a page arrived at the gate and spoke upward. I didn't hear
what he said.
"When I was in a hot bath, the telephone went. I let the swine ring.
Finally somebody came and knocked at the door. Of my wisdom I hadn't
bolted it, so, after waiting a little, they entered. I lay in the bath
like the dead. After a good look round, they went away....
"By twenty past four I'd dressed, and repacked the case. I rang for a
porter, told him to shove it on a taxi, and descended to settle my
bill. Mercifully, the clerk who had stopped me in the morning was off
duty. I could have squealed with delight. I paid my reckoning, tipped
about eight people I'd never seen before, and climbed into the cab.
Ten minutes later I was at the _Quai d'Orsay_.
"By the time I was in the wagon lit it was ten minutes to five....
"I sank down upon the seat in silent gratitude. The comfortable glow
of salvation began to steal over my limbs. I looked benevolently about
me. I reflected that, after all, the last thirty hours of my life had
been rich with valuable experience. Smilingly I decided not to regret
them. When I thought of the scene in the baggage-room, I actually
laughed. Then the conductor put his head in at the door and said that
there was somebody to see me from the _Gare du Nord_."
Berry suspended his recital and buried his face in his hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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