Humorous stories; Love stories; Pau (France) -- Fiction
"I shall never be the same again," he said brokenly. "Never again. Up
to then I had a chance--a sporting chance of recovery. At that moment
it snapped. In a blinding flash I saw what a fool I'd been. If I'd
only stayed on the platform, if I'd only gone into the restaurant car,
if I'd only locked myself in a lavatory till the train had started, I
should have been all right. As it was, I was caught--bending.
"It was the official I'd seen in the morning all right. After a
preliminary flurry of ejaculation, he locked the door behind him and
began to talk.... Don't ask me what he said, because I didn't hear.
When the rope's round your neck, you're apt to miss the subtleties of
the hangman's charge. After a time I realised that he was asking me a
question. I stared at him dully and shook my head. With a gesture of
despair, he glanced at his watch.
"'_Monsieur_,' he said, 'the train departs. I have sought you all day.
The superintendent has told me to speak with you at all costs--to beg
that you will lodge no complaint. He is desolated that your baggage
was injured. It is a misfortune frightful. He cannot think how it has
occurred. But to complain--no. I will tell _Monsieur_ the truth.
Twice in the last half-year an English officer's baggage has gone
astray. But one more complaint from your Embassy, and the
superintendent will be replaced. And in ten short days, _Monsieur_, he
will have won his pension.... Ah, _Monsieur_, be merciful.'
"I was merciful.
"I waved the fellow away and swore haltingly that I would say nothing.
We mingled a few tears, and he got out as the train was moving....
"And there you are. I'd got my reprieve. Everything in the garden was
lovely. But I couldn't enjoy it. My spirits failed to respond." He
took the Sealyham's head between his hands and gazed into his eyes.
"O Nobwell, Nob-well!
Had I but seen the fool at half-past eight
As he desired, he would not in the train
Have put the wind up me so hellishly."
There was a moment's silence.
Then Jonah stepped to my brother-in-law and clapped him on the back.
"Brother," he said, "I take my hat off. I tell you frankly I couldn't
have done it. I wouldn't have claimed that case at Paris for a
thousand pounds."
Clamorously we endorsed his approval.
By way of acknowledgment the hero groaned.
"What you want," said I, "is a good night's rest. By mid-day to-morrow
you'll be touching the ground in spots."
"I shan't be touching it at all," said Berry. "If it's nice and warm,
I shall have a Bath chair, which you and Jonah will propel at a
convenient pace. Nobby will sit at my feet as a hostage against your
careless negotiation of gradients." He drew a key from his pocket and
pitched it on to a table. "I fancy," he added, "I heard them put the
case on the landing: and as I propose, decorative though it is, to
remove my beard, perhaps one of you wasters will fetch me a cigarette."
There was a rush for the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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