The alligator iz an original kritter, a chip of the old block, and az ugly to kontemplate az a congo darkey. They are residents ov Florida, and gro 12 feet, and nine inches and then halt. Their teeth are all tushes, and their mouth iz az full ov them az a buzz saw iz. Their eys are sot up, and down, in their hed like a chinamans, and they hav an appetight equal to 18 distrikt skool masters. They are the krokerdiles ov Amerika, and lay eggs az eazy az a hen duz, but dont kackle when they cum oph from the nest. They are grate cowards but aint afrade ov yung pork, or little darkeys, and kan eat all the time, or go without eating, az long az a gold fish kan. The alligator waz made for sum usefull purpose, but like the muskeeter, the bedbugg, and the kokroach, their usefullness haz been karephully hid from us. Yu kan shoot a hundred alligators a day on the St. Johns river, but you kant bag one, and thare aint enny more game in them, than thare iz in a rotten log. They are long lived, and liv, if mi memory serves me right, 4 thousand years, and their grate strength lays in their tails. They hiss when they are angry like a tea kittle, and want az mutch room to turn round in az a fore and aft skooner. _DEW DROPS_ I hav known whiskey to make a man generous, but when he got sober agin, he would git square with himself, bi being meaner than ever. * * * * * The man who iz rekless ov hiz life holds it at just about its market value. 31 Days. MARCH. 1877. Q.--What are the 2 luxurys ov life? @ @ @ A.--Eazy boots, and a snug conshience. @ @ @ [Illustration] _Darwin sez, we hail from the munky, And Darwin knows all about this thing, But while i respekt mi poor relashuns, From whitch, pray tell me, did the munky spring._