Dont parade yure sorrows before the world, but bury them az the dogs do their old bones, and then growl if enny boddy offers to dig them up. * * * * * Klubs are a place whare most people go to git rid ov themselfs. * * * * * A trained child to me iz a kind ov horror, i like to see them rekless with innosense. * * * * * The boy who iz pikt out to be the genius ov the family is allwuss sure to be the biggest dohed in the whole lot. [Illustration] The only way to tire a phool out, iz to listen to him, and agree to every thing he sez = Affekshionately Josh Billings [Illustration] I hav seen men load a dubble barrell gun klear up to the muzzell, to kill a chipping bird with, and git knokt hed over heels, when. the gun went off.--and miss the bird besides.= A literal fakt, Josh Billings 31 Days. MAY. 1877. Q.--What kind ov a pen do plagarists use? @:~: A.--A steal pen. @ @ @ @ [Illustration] _Thou mewel!--thou art mi horror,-- Desaitfull, and dang'rous kritter,-- Az humbly az satan himself, And besides a pizon hitter._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Items._ | _SHADDOWS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| T || Butiful @ May @ | After a man has reached the | | 2| W || @ now the @ tud | hight ov hiz ambishun the fust | | 3| T || murmers @ @ soft | thing he duz, iz to be disgusted | | 4| F || showers ( @ ) Kate | with it. | | 5| S ||Sturgiss admitted * | | | 6| G || 1842 @ @ Kate | | | 7| M || Stuigis @ was a @ | * * * * * | | 8| T || doktriss @ more * | | | 9| W || hazy @ now prepare | | |10| T ||@ @ for arly lettiss | It aint safe to endorse ennybody, | |11| F || @ rain @ munny iz | we kant even tell ourselfs | |12| S || tite @ brite and @ | what kind ov a man we shall | |13| G || * klear @ Solaman | be on the 25th day of next | |14| M || @ @ had wisdum | june. | |15| T || klearing weather @ | | |16| W || now probe * for @ | | |17| T || @ @ hoss radish | * * * * * | |18| F || @ sum more @ @ | | |19| S || @ @ @ rainness @ | | |20| G || @ Jabez Tucker | I prefer the gravity ov the | |21| M || @ obituated @ @ | owl to the loquacity ov the |