|21| S || @ expekt coolness @ |An idler iz twice a thief, he not | |22| G || @ Dan Tucker @ |only steals hiz own time, but he | |23| M || @ waz dark @ |hangs around, trieing to steal | |24| T || @ konplekted @ |yures too. | |25| W || rain @ now @ twitch | | |26| T || flax @ hot day @ in | * * * * * | |27| F || @ time ov peace | | |28| S || look out @ @ for war |We all ov us hav certian | |29| G || wind easty @ bi nor |sorrows that are too intrinksik to | |30| M || east @ go slow @ |be divided with enny boddy. | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _THE GRASSHOPPER IZ A BURDEN_ The grasshopp iz a flippant bug. He iz likewise a kuss. He iz green for color, and haz several leggs, or more, i disremember whitch. They kan fli, hop, walk, sit still, or run, and are born ov eggs, a dozen from each egg, proberbly. They are an inch and a quarter in length, and are sumtimes a frackshun over. They are laid, hatchid out, git their manhood, and die off in 75 days, this iz aktual bizzness, and shows enterprize, in a lofty degree. What they are good for, haz been concealed from us, for wize reazons, but the evil they kan commit, iz sumtimes equal to a famine. I hav seen every green thing, on the flatt ov the earth, for 50 miles in diameter, et up bi them, and millyuns ov them besides starving to deth. I have seen the air filled with them like a shower ov sand, and nothing but stone fences, and McAdam roads, proof aginst their appetights. To be et up bi grasshopps, to be consumed bi muskeeters, or mangled bi a mule, hav allways been the three deaths that i hav voted aginst. But az mutch az i fear the dedly hopper, i had rather face a mile square ov them, all alone, in the month ov August, or i had rather cross the Newark marshes, bi moonlite, in Juli, when muskeeters are in their consumate glory, or even fondle the sportive mule, than to hav a _nusepaper kritick_, who writes for 8 dollars a week, git after me. _CAMBRIK NEEDLES._ The slowest time on reckord,--is skool time. * * * * * The man who _forgivs_, and dont _forgit_, compounds for 50 cents on the dollar. [Illustration] I dont take enny phoolish chances, if i waz called upon to mourn over a ded mule, i should stand in front ov him, and do mi weeping.= J. Billings Esq. [Illustration] When a man gits to going down hill, it duz seem, az tho every thing had been greased for the ockashun. Josh Billings 31 Days. OCTOBER. 1878. [Illustration] _Thare he struggles, and groans, 'Till he iz knockt on the hed, And the once rapid trotter, Lies pulseless and ded._