|18| T ||c-o-l-o-u-r-e-d | | |19| W ||@ _now_ @ barber @ | * * * * * | |20| T ||@_d_ @ _r_ @ _a_ @ _w_@ | | |22| S ||@ @ @ _violet_ @ @ @ | iz hiz conshience, he may outargy | |23| G ||---- _ackounts_ | hiz reazon, or stutify hiz faith, | |24| M ||@ _haz_ @ _more_ @ | but he kant beat hiz conshience. | |25| T ||_cum_ @ _windfull_ | | |26| W ||@ @ @ now _it_ @ @ @ | | |27| T ||_blows_ @ @ @ drink | * * * * * | |28| F ||@-@- Noah -@-@ | | |29| S || .... Egg had .... | The best thing i kno ov iz a | |30| G ||-- nogg @ 3 -- | fust rate wife, and the next best | |31| M ||_it_ @ _blows_ @ boys @ | thing, is a sekond rate one. | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _REMARKS._ Three kard monte iz a game ov chance, the chance iz, that yu will git badly beat, unless yu play it alone. When thare iz 2 plays the game, sumbody iz bound to git hurt. Girls are a more risky crop to raize than boys, if a boy makes a bad blunder, he kan wipe out the slate once, or even twice, and begin again, but a girl kant. I kant tell who old Probabilitiz iz, but he iz a smart kuss, aint he? Whiskee iz one ov the tonicks, i think, but i aint sure, i kno it iz one ov the tanglelegs, for I hav seen it tried often. Yu kan sell a fast horse in Nu York at yure own price, provided he iz fast enuff. But dont bring enny 3 minnitt kattle to Nu York, the ice kream, and the milk men, drive faster than that. Our old fellows, in Nu York, menny ov them who hav seen 70 years, when they go out onto the hard roads, dont take enny but 2.25 dust. Speaking ov kats mi opinyun remains unchanged, they are az full ov flaws, az a March wind iz. Yu kan make a lawyer, or a minister ov your son, either ov them are decent callings enuff, but neither ov them will make him respektabel, unless they are well filled Nuzepaper hacks are harder workt, and poorer fed, than livery stable horses. Authors, and skribblers, az a klass, are a self konsaited, and seedy set, and I believe a literary man, when he gits poor, and shiny, iz the poorest looking kritter on the footstool. _LINT._ No atheist, with all hiz boasted bravery, haz ever dared to advertize his beleaf, on hiz tomb stun * * * * * A baby iz a necessity, but twins allwuss did seem to me, to be ov a spekulative natur. 30 Days. APRIL. 1879. [Illustration: TAURUS, THE BULL. _Bound for Wall Street.--Bring on yure Bear._]