|23| F || @ Oh! cockroach, | she shakes them oph, the less she | |24| S || whare iz | gits rid ov them. | |25| G || thine | | |26| M || sting? @ | * * * * * | |27| T || _kold gits more so_ | | |28| W || @ now giv in | I think young coxcombs end | |29| T || marriage @ | their lives az old sloven. | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _HOROSKOPE FOR MARCH._ The man born this month will be inklined tew blow a little. He will be a domestik man, and will kno how to rok the kradle and pare potatoze. He will marry the only daughter of a widdo, and will be a good judge of mothers-in-law. He will die about the usual time in life, and leave a house and lot, with a small mortgage on it. He never will run for offiss but once, and then will git beat. * * * * * The woman who appears this month will be an old maid till she is 20 years old, and then will sudenly put a stop tew this kind ov bizzness, by investing in a yung man. She will be a good housekeeper, and kno how tew make a plum puddin, with the plums left out. She will hang on to her buty till she iz about 45; after that, she will hav to take her chances. * * * * * [_Advertizement._] Professor John Spruce (_graduate_) begs leaf tew inform the citizens ov Pordunk village that he will open a school for male yung men, over Nikodemus Bradley's waggon shop, in whitch will be taught the nobel art of chawing gum, in all the hier branches. _Private lessons_ administered tew yung ladiz at their boarding-house. The Professor pledges himself tew teach, in six easy lessons, the gum-chawing science tew a spot. _N. B.--Seckond hand gum alwus on hand, for sale low._ 31 Days. MARCH. 1872. Q.--Who iz the champion ov lite weights? [@] A.--The Nu Jersey muskeeter. @ @ @ [Illustration] _Dame Barker had a yerling hen, Who swore she'd set, or raze the dickens; The dame sot her on an ear ov korn, And razed a bushel an haff ov chickens._