+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Kalkulashuns._ | _CODICILS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| F || @ _Breezy_ @ @ | | | 2| S || Klam soup | To work iz the grate law ov | | 3| G || diskovered 1500 @ | natur. If the woodchuck ever | | 4| M || _sighns ov wind_ @ | dont bild enny hole, he wont | | 5| T || Jim Pettybone | hav one. It iz true he may steal | | 6| W || created 1312 @ @ | one; but then sum other woodchuck | | 7| T || Jim waz | will hav tew dig two. | | 8| F || an intemperance | | | 9| S || man [(@)] | * * * * * | |10| G || _mutch wind_ @ | | |11| M || Jim Pettybone died | | |12| T || @ _wind grows_ @ | Thare are folks who dont do | |13| W || Jim died | enny hard work but watch their | |14| T || ov the | simptoms. I hav saw dogs akt | |15| F || triangular | just az sensibel. I hav saw a | |16| S || lemons @ | rat-tarrier watch the simptoms ov a | |17| G || _fresh, but windy_ | knot-hole in a board-fence all day, | |18| M || @ now dig angle- | for sum rat tew cum forth, and no | |19| T || worms @ @ | for sum rat tew cum forth, and no | |20| W || _wind rizes_ @ @ | rat didnt cum forth. | |21| T || Lafayette waz | | |22| F || A | * * * * * | |23| S || friend to | | |24| G || this | | |25| M || land @ @ @ | I alwus did admire the malice | |26| T || _wind_ | ov the mule. If a freak ov fortune | |27| W || _inklined tew_ | had made me az misfortunate | |28| T || be windy @ | amung men az the mule iz amung | |29| F || @ Tom Hyer waz | animilds, i would begin tew let | |30| S || a | drive at things a mile an a haff | |31| G || pugilissimus [§§] | off. | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _HOROSKOPE FOR APRIL._ The man born this month will hav a liquid temprament, but not necessarily inklined tew licker. Hiz grate aim will be tew git married; and he will git hiz bird, bi marrying a butiful and also good-looking wife. They will liv happy az two lambs, and leave one son, whom they intended should be president ov the United States, but who very wisely konkluded tew be a merchant taylor.