|21| G || @ _wind soft_ @ | | |22| M || thou shalt not steal | * * * * * | |23| T || @ _more wet_ @ | | |24| W || plant pickels | Yu will alwus notis one thing: | |25| T || for arly cow- | the devil never offers tew go into | |26| F || kumbers @ @ | partnership with a bizzy man; | |27| S || @ _soft breezes_ @ | but yu will often see him offer | |28| G || now lend umbrellers | tew jine the lazy, and furnish all | |29| M || @ @ _hot_ @ | the capital. | |30| T || now jerk lettiss @ | | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _HOROSKOPE FOR MAY._ The gentleman who invests hiz life in this month will be very quick tempered, espeshily when a hornet lights on him in anger. His mother will set a good deal by him, espeshily when he iz in the kradle. He will hav the mumps very light, and will spend most ov his life intending tew marry, but will die at last with a half dozen old maids on hiz hands. The wash wimmin will remember him az the man who never wore paper collars. * * * * * The lady born this month will fust be a bud, and afterwards a blossom. Her heart will be az full ov twitter as a kanary bird on a perch. She will hav twilight hair. She will hav menny lovers. She will be reasonabel fond ov silk clothes, but her grate joy will be in a bonnet. She will hav az little jealousy az it is prudent for a woman tew hav. _CHOICE OLD RECEIPTS._ To learn a kat how tew bite--feed her on kat nip tea. * * * * * To remove goose pimples (from a goose)--loose the goose. * * * * * To kure a weak back--lay still for a week ahead. * * * * * To make yure mark--fall out ov a third story windo. * * * * * To ketch a bad kold--lay down on the ground, and watch for it, bi moonlite. [Illustration] Kats are plenty. I kounted 18 from mi boarding hous window one night last summer--and it wasn't a fust rate nite for kats neither.= A sollum fakt. Josh Billings [Illustration] One ov the most unfortunate men in this world--iz a third rate fiddler,= Yure warm friend Josh Billings 31 Days. MAY. 1872. Q.--Who got the fust caneing? @ @ A.--Abel. @ @ @ [Illustration] _Now in the ground hide unyun seed, Bury korn, and beetz, and lettiss; Chuck in sum peas, and lima beans, If the arth dont seem tew wettish._