* * * * * 4th. Potatoze are gennerally a helthy krop, but they are liable tew hav weak eyes. * * * * * 5th. Cowcumbers do the best in a lot bi themselfs; it aint best tew cumber up a kitchen gardin with cows. * * * * * 6th. Oats will gro on sum warm land, but tew yield well they hav got tew be thrasht; it iz jiss so with beans, only beans has got to be poled fust, and thrasht afterwards. * * * * * 7th. Rye duz the best on a dry and thirsty sile, espeshily old rye; too mutch water will drown out old rye. * * * * * 8th. Tud stools will do well on a wet earth; so will tuds; but woodchucks must hav a gravelly sile. _SUM WEATHER._ SINOPSUSS OV PROGNOSTIKATED EVENTS. The byrometer will rize very sudden this morning at Pordunk, 3 foot, and fall the like amount at Sakramento City. The diffikulty in the weather for the last 2 days, which haz predominated at Boston and around New Orleans, waz owing tew the byrometer at Pordunk being took down and sent tew the blacksmith's shop for repairs. Clear weather haz existed at Goose kreek, and northwest ov Montreal, with a growing tendency tew wind gustiness. _PROBABILITIZ._ Ambrozial weather will permeate all around Pordunk for the next 16 months, with rain and snow; and all sorts ov stuff in the ballance ov the United States of America. The probabilitiz iz that the abuv probabilitiz will assimilate themselfs tew the principal probabilitiz in the case. If they don't, du notiss will be giv. In the mean time be kalm, be dignified, and don't be skeered. _JANUARY MISSCELLANY._ ARIES, THE ZODIAK RAM. Aries is a latin ram. He is kompozed ov wool all over, and horns in front. How Aries, the ram, got into the zodiak bothers me to this day, but he probably jumpt in out ov sumboddys back lot. This is all owing tew bad fences. Aries waz born soon after the diskovery ov this world by Kaptain Kook, the perambulator. Since the days ov Aries the hydraulik ram haz been born, a very hard ram tew fleece. Aries haz the post ov honor amung the sighns in the zodiak, and presides over the head ov the human anatomy. This iz a just kompliment tew hiz kapacity for putting a hed onto things. Aries, the ram, tho he haz no literary pretenshuns, haz made menny brilliant hits in hiz day. _TO MAKE GOOD MILK PUNTCH._ Take one quart ov red cow's milk. Strain all the water out ov the milk. Puntch the milk severely with santy cruize rum. Ramify it well with white sugar. Koruskate sum nutmeg on the brow ov it. Drink tew the Amerikan Eagle standing. (This recipee haz been in the Billings family going on 300 years, and iz desighned for one person, and always hits the mark.) [Illustration] The Hornet iz a red hot child ov natur, and haz a bizzness end to him.= Respekfully, Josh Billings [Illustration]