One ov the best preserved females ov the age iz Virgo the Virgin. She dont look an hour older than she did in the spring ov 1818 when i fust saw her. Virgo haz lite blu eyes and yeller hair, and i should esteem her to weigh about 117 pounds. Virgo haz menny admirers, and report sez, she haz had menny good trades offered her (one waz a duke) but she deklines matrimony. I congratulate her spunk. If she haz got a good lone hand i like to see her play it, even if she gits ukered. I hope Virgo will remain whare she iz for life, for she iz the only sighn in the zodiak that i love tew witness. Thare iz one thing about Virgo that pleazes me wonderful, and that iz, when the grecian bend waz raging on earth, and crooking most all the other wimmin, she never bent a bit. Hallelujah! for Virgo. _TO KONTRAKTORS._ The widdo Betsey Brown will receive proposals sealed at her residence No. 86 Hopvine St. for the next 90 daze. Kontraktors must state their best offers. Diagrams of the widdows looks kan be had at the above No. The widdo reserves the privilege ov refusing all offers. The highest Bidder gits the worm. Agents needn't applikate. 30 Days. APRIL. 1873. Q.--Whi iz the kodfish like a sailor? @ @ A.--Bekauze he iz an old salt. @ @ @ @ [Illustration] _'Twas Joels way t' stop hiz kart, At every hous and shop, Fust tew tell a bit ov nuze. And then propoze tew swop._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Diagnosis._ | _SLAP JAX._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| T || @ @ Grecian bend | | | 2| W || revived 1864 @ | When a man measures out glory | | 3| T || _sighns ov spring_ @ | for himself he alwus heaps the | | 4| F || @ @ @ @ the | haff bushel. | | 5| S || cockroach cometh | | | 6| G || up like a flower @ | * * * * * | | 7| M || @ _liquid rains_ | A man may mistake hiz tallent, | | 8| T || frogs now | but he kant mistake hiz genius. | | 9| W || warble @ @ @ | | |10| T || @ _sweet winds_ @ | * * * * * | |11| F || now the goose | | |12| S || skreameth @ | It is only a step from cunning | |13| G || @ _wind sow east | tew dishonesty, but it iz a step | |14| M || bi sow_ @ | that a man iz liable at enny time | |15| T || | tew take. | |16| W || @ now bury | | |17| T || onion seed @ | * * * * * | |18| F || _smart showers | |