Kaprikornus the zodiak gote iz a sheep with hair on him, and kan eat enny thing he kan swallow if it chokes him. They infest all over kreashun, but are thikker in the upper part of Nu York citty ackording tew populashun than otherwise. Their principal bizzness is tew fite, and giv milk, they average about a quart ov milk, and four knokdowns a day. They kant klimb a greast pole, but kan kreep up the side of a rok az natral az a wood-bine kan. They hav a krak in their foot, and also one in their voice, and a mustash on their bottom lip. Aries and Kaprikornus are the two buts ov the zodiak. In the zodiak Kaprikornus governs the kneeze, and people born under this sighn are apt tew be knok kneed. _LOST._ A bright bay poodle dorg, 5 dollars reward, ov a warm natur, and no questions asked, with one white foot behind, will be paid for hiz return, when he stole away, with flowing ears, or waz strayed by sumboddy, answers tew Kristopher Kolumbust, with a brass colar, exchange papers pleaze copy, and haz a frantik tale. 30 Days. JUNE. 1873. Q.--How menny skruples in one dram. @ A.--This depends upon who takes the dram. @ [Illustration] _His kart waz a karavan, Piled hi with every kind Ov dikker yu kould name, Besides sumthin hitched behind._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Diagnosis._ | _KNUT KAKES._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| G || @ Now snatch | | | 2| M || @ cowcumbers | Silence iz one ov the lost arts. | | 3| T || _sighns ov hotness_ @ | | | 4| W || @ Mark Twain | * * * * * | | 5| T || born 1839 @ @ | | | 6| F || & _hotter_ @ | | | 7| S || Mark iz a mello | When yu strike ile stop boreing; | | 8| G || @ kuss @ | menny a man haz bored klean thru | | 9| M || @ _showers ov rain_ | and let the ile run out at the | |10| T || @ money iz tite @ | bottom. | |11| W || @ _more warmer_ | | |12| T || Venus waz a | * * * * * | |13| F || hansum woman @ | | |14| S || @ _mutch wet_ @ | | |15| G || @ now dig | Human happiness iz like Josephs | |16| M || for strawberrys | coat, a thing of menny colours. | |17| T || _gentle wetness_ @ | | |18| W || @ Job Potter died | | |19| T || 1856 | * * * * * | |20| F || _sighns ov thunder_ | |