Dandylions planted this month are almost sure tew hed out, so are tud stools, so are hed cheeze. This month iz also helthy for planting onions, onions are a luxury, and are good for a bad breth, or are bad for a good breth, i hav forgot which, but either way iz right. _VALUABEL ADVICE TEW YUNG SPORTSMEN._ ☛ In fishing for musketoze dont wait for them tew bite the seckond time. ☛ The best bait for bed bugs, iz tew sleep three in a bed. ☛ The best mark for target praktiss iz an old maskuline goose, one goose will last yu for five years shooting, and when he finally gits struck with lightning, and begins tew perish, yu kan melt him up, and git out the lead. ☛ The best kind ov a spear, for bullfrogging, iz a four tined dung fork, when you git the tines all full, shoulder the fork, and put for home. 30 Days. APRIL. 1870. Q.--How long kan a goose stand on one leg? A.--Try it,----that's the way the goose found out. [Illustration] _Jethro Sparks cum tew town, Athwart a kussid mule, He wound hiz ears around hiz nek, And called him April Phule._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Prognostix._ | _EMBERS ON THE HARTH._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| F || _Showery_ @ _expekt_ @ | He whom the good praze, and | | 2| S || @ _rain_ @ stern | the wicked hate, ought tew be | | 3| G || winter iz @ @ @ | satisfied with hiz reputashun. | | 4| M || o'er @ sow peas @ | | | 5| T || and plant lambs @ | * * * * * | | 6| W || now @ Washington | | | 7| T || waz the @ father @ | The less a man knows, the | | 8| F || @ ov hiz @ (country) | more he will guess at, and guessing | | 9| S || @ _wet rain_ @ @ | iz nothing more than suspicion. | |10| G || Washington @ when | | |11| M || a little boy had @ @ | * * * * * | |12| T || @ @ a little @ @ | | |13| W || ax @ @ _gentle_ | It is a statistikal fakt, that the | |14| T || @ _showers_ @ @ with | wicked work harder tew reach | |15| F || which he @ @ | Hell, than the righteous do tew | |16| S || @ @ tomahawked | git to heaven. | |17| G || a tree @ _sighns ov_ | | |18| M || @ _moisture_ but @ @ | * * * * * | |19| T || when @ asked @ | | |20| W || @ if he did the tree | When i git thoroughly ritch, the | |21| T || cut @ _big rain_ @ he | fust thing i intend to do, iz tew | |22| F || @ @ owned the | bekum respektabel. | |23| S || korn @ @ lager | |