I have asked several literary people if they would tell me whoze two children the Gemini waz, but they all shook their heds, and begun tew whissell. Maybe they thought i waz a kondem phool. I would just like tew know all about this. Thare iz 2 things in this life for which we are never fully prepared, and them iz twins. The zodiak twins are a kupple ov nice little phellows, if their piktur aint mistaken on the subjekt I never hav saw them only in their pikturs. Twins are two very interesting acksidents tew happen in sumboddy elses family, but one twin at a time suits me the most. In the zodiak sighns, the Gemini akt on the arms. I have alwus noticed that when a person haz twins the sighns are in the arms. _CLASS IN METAPHISICKS STAND UP._ _Teacher._ Which iz the most stubborist animile? _Skoller._ The klam, he wont budge a bit! _Teacher._ Who iz the most open gaited animile? _Skoller._ The swine, he kan open enny kind ov a gate! _Teacher._ Which iz the most sure footedest animile? _Skoller._ The mewel, he kan hit a man twice in a seckond 10 foot oph. _Teacher._ Who iz the most foolishest animile? _Skoller._ The goose, he dont kno enuff to go in when it rains. _Teacher._ Class in metaphisicks may set down. 31 Days. DECEMBER. 1873. Q.--What iz the hardest thing a man kan do? @ @ @ A.--Tend sumboddy else's baby. @ @ @ @ [Illustration] _Hiz wife (God bless her) went out tew push, And learn whi this waz sutch, Joel dropt a tear, and sed, "Hannah! I've swopt once tew mutch."_