Jehossiphat Billings waz a very kluss man; he never waz known tew waste ennything, by giving it away. The grate extravaganse ov hiz life, and the one he never forgot tew speak ov, waz giving 3 dollars towards bilding the Pordunk meetin hous. After he giv the munny, he took such a deep interest in the work on the metin house, that the kommitty waz obliged tew giv him bak the munny to git shut ov him. He swore he'd sue them for the interest on the munny, but he never did. Jehoss' Billings waz one ov them kind ov men who mistake avarice for ekonemy. He died at the age of 63, if i hav sarched right, from an overdose ov klam chowder drank at a free lunch. Jehossiphatt Billings had his phailings, but rekless extravaganse want amung the lot, he also had his virteus, but blind and irrepressible generosity want among this lot neither. He waz buried, without eny fuss, in the year 1286. What has bekum ov him I kant state. Sleep on, Jehossiphat, in thi slumbers. I would like tew say sum more about Jehoss', but i kant without telling the truth. Truth iz sumtimes like a hot pertato, the only way tew handle it eazy, is tew drop it. I will dri up here. The end. Hush! Lay low. * * * * * _MORAL._ The klussest man i ever knu, Waz Deakon Erastus Meggs, Tew save expense, he oft would sett, Hiz pullets on spile-ed eggs. 31 Days. MARCH. 1874. Q.--What iz hash? @ @ @ A.--A konfidense game. @ @ @ [Illustration] _He sawed the wood and bilt the fires, And while the boys were playing, Hurried, and swept the skool hous out, And dun a little praying._