Not one man in a thousand iz known while living, yet awl expeck tew be well remembered, when tha are ded. Men are very often ashamed tu tell the truth, bekause tha dont kno how. Moste ov the advise we reseave from others, iz not so mutch an evidense ov their affeckshun for us, az it iz an evidense ov their affeckshun for themselves. Aul ov us komplain ov the shortness ov life, yet we all waste more time than we uze. Aboutaz good a wa az enny tew be happee, iz tew pity thoze who are below us, and forgit that there iz enny boddy above us. Wit iz a pleasant surprize ov Truth. No man haz a rite tu be proud till he bekums entirely vartuous, and then he wont feel like being proud. The power ov oratory lays more in the manner, than in the matter; yu kant reduse it tew riting, enny more than yu kan pla a streak ov lightning on a hand organ. Sum folks when tha fite, will throw the fust brik bat tha kan git hold ov, jist so sum folks will du when tha argy. Epitaff--here lies John Ferguson, Esq., died wurth half a million--less the kingdom ov heaven. Avaris eats up all the good things in a man, and then feeds on his vices. XIV. JOSH BILLINGS ADDRESSES THE "FEMAIL BILLINGSVILLE SOWING SOSIETY." FELLER SISTERS:--When I caste mi eye on a sirkle of luvely wimmin bizzy with their needles, mi harte seems tew stretch clean akross mi buzzum. And when i reflek for a minnit, that tha are tew work for nothing, and find themselfs, and that a yung heathin stans reddy yelping around the corner, for the very shirt tha are wurking on, it duz seem tu me, that i cud shout hozzanner for 3 weeks on a strech. Feller Sisters, yu kan kount on Josh Billings az a frend; he luves charitee, az a pup hankers for nu milk; his verry natur looks out onto the horizen ov the poor folks, jist as the lite ov a tin lantern shines akross a bog meddow. And he sees the little bare bak yung ones shivering for a krust ov bread, and hungry for a shirt; then he looks at the Sisters, a talking and sowing, and sowing and talking, and he kounts a hole parcil ov little shirts on the tabil, and then he thinks ov the widders cruise, and the bred hove onto the waters, menshioned in the good Book, and he feels jist az tho he wud like tew own awl the femail sowing sosieties in the wurld hisself, and put hiz hole fortin in the little reddy made cottin shirt bizziness. Oh Charitee! Oh Charitee! When Josh Billings communes with you, he feals az tho he had jist been tried out, and sot awa tew cool. Feller Sisters don't be skeered, let the ritch and the hawty stik up their nozes, and let the eddicated larf. Josh wud like no better fun than jiss to bet his 9 dollars, that enny Sister, in full communion with this ere sowing sosiety, who puts in full time, and cuts the cotting tew advantage, wil git her final reward. Tew konklude, Feller Sisters, pitch in; remember Mr. Lots wife, she that was salted for looken bak. Cum together arly,