Dear Doktor, the fact iz, "sum men are born grate, sum men git grate after they are born, and sum men hav grateness hove upon them." Doctor, you are awl 3 ov these men, in one. You are a kind ov vegatable trinity, sassyfrass, pokeroot, and elderberry. It waz a happee thought in you, tew call your "Salvashun Bitters" a "vegatabel tonicks," although, old rye aint one ov the vegatabels, whiskee iz one ov the tonicks. The peopel must hev tonicks, and the more vegatabels you kan git into the gratest amount ov whiskee, the more the peopel will luv you. Thare is nothing the christian world long for so mutch, just now, as a vegatabel bitter. Sassyfrass is good for a lonesum stummuk, pokeroot is an alteratiff, and Elderberry was known to the anshients, but what! oh tell me what! yee whispring winds, what! are awl these without whiskee. Thank the Lord, that at laste, we hav got a bitter, that will tonick a man up. Nothing, sinze the good old daze ov Jamaka Rum, and sider Brandee, haz sent sich a thrill ov joy thru the wurld, az "Hirsute's Salvashun Bitters," sold respektably bi awl druggists, far and near. Go on Doktur, manafaktring, and selling, let the cod liver, and pattent truss men, howl out in envy, let pills rant, and plasters rave, you hav got what the wurld wants, and will have, and that iz, an erb bitter, with a broad whiskee basis. N. B.--Bizziness, Doctor, iz bizziness. The hi prise ov material, and laber, haz put up puffs with us, but upon the reseipt ov 50 Dollars more, yu kan rely upon sumthing, in our weekly, that will send "Salvashun, and Purswashun" whirling thru the land. P. S.--Let me advize yu az a friend; if it iz indispensible necessary tew cheat a little, in the manufakter ov the "Salvashun Bitters," let it by awl means be in the rutes, dont lower the basis. Yures quietly, JOSH BILLINGS. LXXVII. PROVERBS. He who buys begrudgingly, pays the higest prise and gits nothing that sutes him. It iz jist about az mutch mizery tew _want_ a dimond ring, as tew _want_ a shirt. The author who rites for bred, wil giv hiz reeders a taste ov emptins. I never knu a fool who hadn't a good voice. Thieves hunt in couples, but a liar has no accomplice. Az men gro older, their opinyuns, like their disseazes, grow kronick. Wimmin _luv_ their hustbands, but tha _worship_ their bonnets. The man who kant liv a week on hope, and then maik a harty meal on the result is no philozopher. I often cum akross inidividoals, quite oftenly, who think tha hav never committed enny sins or indiscreshuns in this life, such people i pitty, for they wont kno when they git to heaven. Az a gineral thing, if yu want tew git at the truth ov a perlitikal argyment, hear both sides and beleave neither. Thare iz a multitude of folks who mean well enuff but how like the devel tha act. Opportunitays, like eggs don't kum but one at a time.