On the end ov the nut toward you iz 2 eyes, fast asleep. The kokernut iz opened bi breaking the skull and this brings them tew their milk. The milk in the kokernut haz never bin explained yet, and the reazon iz, becauze noboddy has ever asked me tew do it. Whenever the philosophers "giv it up," i shall reply tew the konundrum. Az an artikle ov diet, the koker iz about on a level with the french raw turnip, and iz az hard tew digest az one ov Secretary Seward's letters ov State. Biled koker might possibly be good, if it warnt a grate deal better when it waz raw; and raw kokernuts iz only good for children and young greyhounds tew eat, whose stummuks are like a nutmeg grater. The only real good thing about this forrin nut iz its skull; they kan be cut into 2, and made into drinking kups, and i must konfess, they do look kind, when laid on a clean flatt stun in the side ov a meadow spring; but i kant drink out ov them myself, without thinking that if they hadn't been cut in 2, what a kapital thing they would be tew bild a young darkey to. But this iz only a phoolish noshun ov mine, and probably it couldn't be did enny how. * * * * * It iz now about 8 or eleven years, since folks begun tew hanker after the Tomater. About that time, sum doktor ov pills, dissekted one ov theze vagrant vegetabels, and diskovered sum doktor stuff in them. Az soon az folks found out they waz fisick, they begun tew be verry sweet on the tomater. At that time they waz in the habit ov growing in sly places, whare they want afraid, over behind stone walls, amung broken jugs, ded kats, and old injun-rubber boots, for peopel wouldn't let them grow in gardins enny more than they would a kanaday thissell. They were vagabond weeds, and even a woods hogg wouldn't eat one ov the berrys that grew on them, enny quicker than he would a bawl ov red stocking yarn. But it waz decided that there waz sum pills in them, and they were putt tu nuss, in pots, and vases, and lived on the phatt ov the land, in hott houses, along side ov tiger lilys, and rozes ov Sharon. It took most folks about 18 months ov perseverance and sea sickness, tew git the tomater to go quietly down, and now, from a vile weed, more smelly than a deseased klam, the tomatow haz actually got to be more honorabel than a bukwheat slapjack, or even a punkin pie. This shows what love and affekshun will do. I haven't enny doubt that if Professor Ratsbane would say profeshionally, that wasps nests waz good to make a mustash grow black, half the men in the kuntry would git a wasp and go into the nest bizzness. I don't beleave a tomater will keep a man enny more helthy than red clover will, but i am just like evry body else, i wanted tew git sum better than i waz, and i went to skool to the tomato, and have got learnt how tew eat them, if they are filled with salt and pepper, and soaked well in good sider vinegar.