Josh Billings on Ice, and Other ThingsBillings, Josh
General
Josh Billings on Ice, and Other Things
Billings, Josh
American wit and humor
_Number Three_--Iz kompletely furnished with gass fixtures and meether,
and ile cloth in the front hall, and pegs in the closets, and back
verandy. This delightful property iz now occupied bi a phisician,
("whose sands ov life hav about run out,") and sum ov the rent would be
took in boarding the phisician ("whose sand iz about run thru,") and
hiz wife, and wife's oldest sister, and her unkle, and the 9 children,
who are awl lite eaters, havin bin kept for the laste 6 months on sperm
kandle soup. Tew a tenant who could loan the phisician $1,500 or two
thousand dollars, and take a first mortgage on the furniture in the
hous, a liberal rent would be named, payable quarterly in advanse.
P.S.--fust cum, fust git.
_Number Four_--Iz the property ov a two-millionaire, who iz about going
tew Urope with hiz entire family, tew spend sum munny. This hous haz
one ov Chickering's 10 oktave, iron-frame, overstrung bass, rosewood,
round kornered, pearl keyed, pianners, built expressly for the owner bi
Mr. Chickering himself, after the design ov the pantheon in Rome,
(Italy,) and also haz a hole cut thru the roof, from which the North
star kan be distinktly seen with the naked eye. Rent iz no objeck--tew
a small family ov one or two persons, this hous could be had, if
applied for within 2 daze, at the nominal prise ov 20,000 dollars a
month, reckoning 26 working days tew the month.
_Also_--A superb hoss ov a black culler, warranted 16 hands hi, ov
grate enduranse, tew stand without tieing, and kan trot in 2:53; would
make a good card for a hearse hoss.
XXII.
LAUGHING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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