In the fust place, it was about 80 rods from whare i drank the lager, tew my house, and i was over 2 hours on the road, and had a hole busted thru each one ov mi pantaloon kneeze, and didn't hav enny hat, and tried tew open the door by the bell-pull, and hickupped awfully, and saw evrything in the room tryin tew git round onto the back side ov me, and in setting down onto a chair, i didn't wait quite long enuff for it tew git exactly under me, when it was going round, and i sett down a little too soon, and missed the chair by about 12 inches, and couldn't git up quick enuff tew take the nex one when it cum, and that ain't aul; mi wife said i was az drunk az a beast, and az i sed before, i begun tew spit up things freely. [Illustration: Josh Billings is satisfied that lager-beer as a drink is not intoxicating; but having indulged rather freely one day, he finds it difficult, when he sits down, "to catch the chair as it comes round."--_See page 169._] If lager beer iz not intoxikating, it used me almighty mean, that i kno. Still i hardly think lager beer iz intoxikating, for i hav been told so, and i am probably the only man living, who ever drunk enny when his bile want plumb. I don't want tew say ennything against a harmless tempranse bevridge, but if i ever drink enny more it will be with mi hands tied behind me, and mi mouth pried open. I don't think lager beer iz intoxikating, but if i remember right, i think it tastes to me like a glass with a handle on one side ov it, full ov soap suds that a pickle had bin put tew soak in. LII. PLUCK. Pluck, tew be ov mutch value, wants tew be instant. I hav seen plenty ov men who was anxious tew fite an elephant--six miles oph. How menny ov us hav had our pluck cum tew us next day, and then it want ov enny more use tew us than an epitaff iz tew a ded man. Pluck iz a normal virtue, and may be made a shining one, az it iz only the tuff substances that will take, and hold a good polish. I hav seen men who was aul pluck, and nothing else; they are like chestnutt burs, alwus reddy, but only fit for one thing, and that iz not to touch. Thare iz a pluck that dares tew do nothing but what iz right, and always dares tew do that; this iz pluck built upon reason, and iz virtue enuff for enny one man. LIII. FREE LOVE. I beleaf in free fights, espeshila amung cats and doggs. I beleaf in free rides--on a gate. I beleaf in freedum for evry slave on arth. But _free love_ iz one ov them kinds ov fredum, that it don't do tew be limber with. If this world was the gardin ov Edin, and full ov Adam and Eve, az they was when they was fust launched, then i kan imagine it might do for sum other Adam to hold mi Eve on his lap, and talk about his affinitee, and spiritoal essence, and play lamb. In them daze, thare want no humin natur, it was all God natur.