If these pests ov humanity were not wuss in their malice than a pizen snake without rattles, or meaner in their mischief than the robber ov birds nests, I would try and hunt up an apology for them, or at least, would attribute to an eager curiosity, or the vanity ov being thought a kind ov sub-treasury ov other folks' confidence, what is quite too often too gross to be set down only in the calendar ov crimes. Good-bye buzzers, ov high and low degree--yu that buzz in petticoats, and yu that buzz in britches; I hav but one opinion ov yu, and that is--a dreadful mean one. LXVIII. MONOGRAFFS. THE PASHIONATE MAN. Pride, without dout, is the old man ov anger. The pashionate man is like a hornet's nest, alwus reddy for a fight. These kind ov men live, if they are possessed ov virtues, the most degrading kind ov a life; their fury is followed bi the humiliation ov repentance. Pride forces them tew the indignity ov an apology, and the apology is but the smouldering ashes ov another fit ov phrensy. If men only flew into a pashun at great things thare would be some pleasure in forgiving them if it took an earthquake or an elephant tew stir them up, we could pity them; but to see them convulsed with rage bekause they stub their toe, or bekause their name happens to be spelt wrong in the morning paper, sinks them down tew the level ov a cat, whose dignity and decency is awl gone if enny boddy happens to step on their continuation. But i don't want it told around the country that i am hollering halleluger for a living, on them kind uv men who kant git mad at all. I don't believe the Lord ever intended, if a mule kicks me on one side, that i am tew turn the other fresh side tew the mule. I say, let a hornet light ontu yu if he wants to, and let him set thare, and chaw his cud in peace; but if he stings yu, while he is setting on yu, i say, kill the cuss. THE ZEALOUS MAN. The zealous man is alwus trieing tew bile, that is, if he has got enny steam on at all. His pot never simmers, it generally biles over, and puts out the fire; he is either awl bile, or not even lukewarm. Zeal often makes a man more ridiklus than folly duz; in fakt, zeal and folly were twins, only zeal was born a little first; he couldn't wait, ov course, till his time cum. Zeal in religion, is the way that biggots are made, an zeal in selling the most dri goods, is the way that good liars are made. I beleaf in zeal, but when it trys tew beat Dexter's time, then i think it wants watching as much as a mule's hind legg dus. Zeal that trots square, and goes a measured mile in about 3 minnitts without a skip, is mi kind; i am willing to bet mi suspender buttons (and they are the last things i want tew lose) on this kind ov zeal. After all, zeal is a good deal like lead; when it is biling hot, yu kan run it into enny kind ov shape yu want tew, but when it is cold, it is as heavy as enny thing i kno ov. I want mi zeal just as i dew mi beefsteak, nicely dun thru.