There is men ov so mutch learning and impudence, they wouldn't hesitate tew criticise the song ov a bird. * * * * * Hogs hav an excellent ear for music--but it takes a dog tew pitch the tune. * * * * * I hav seen men as full ov indecision as an old barn--alwus reddy, but didn't know exactly which way to pitch. * * * * * Thare is sum folks whose thoughts cant be controled:--they are like twins, they cant be had, nor they cant be stopped. * * * * * Most ennyboddy can write poor sense, but there aint but few that can write good nonsense--and it alwus takes an eddycated man to appreciate it after it is writ. LXX. JOSH EPISTOLATES. _Neptune._--I cant answer yure questions satisfactorily tew miself, but perhaps mi answers may suit yu. I cant tell yu what _wit_ and _humor_ is. It may be the bringing together two ideas, apparently unlike, and hav them prove tew be a cluss match. Thare wouldn't be enny wit in striking fire with a flint, but thare might be in striking fire with a piece of injia rubber. I don't serpose thare would be enny grate quantity ov wit in yure telling sumboddy that yure gal was as hansum as a rose, but thare might possibly be sum wit into it if yu should go on and say that she was as frail, and as thorny, too. Humor (as compared with wit) seems to be what the old fashioned folks in Connecticut used tew call "heat lightning," not the original artikle that gashes the heavens with a flaming sword, and makes a fellow's hair get up on end and ake with astonishment. Humor don't dazzle, don't knock a man down with a sparkle; it is more a soothing syrup, sumthing tew tickle, without enny danger ov throwing the patient into fits. Thare seems tew be more than one kind ov wit; punning is called wit, but punning alwus looked to me like trieing tew make words pass for ideas. Thare is without doubt, sum wit in puns, but it is something like sticking a pin into a man, just for fun, and then ask him tew join in the joke. Thare is sum more kinds ov wit, but i find i aint roomy enuff in the skull tew talk mutch about them. Wit and humor both are similar tew kissing; thare is a peculiar kind ov bewitchment in awl three ov them, that evryboddy can acknowledge better than they can pictur out. Almost evryboddy hankers tew be witty, and most folks think they am, but ginowine wit is like piety; thare aint much ov it in the market, and those who think they hav the least ov it, are quite apt tew hav the most.