"That is my great anxiety," continued Basil; "were my mind relieved
upon that point, I should fear nothing, for death is my smallest
terror. I suffer deserved misery when I say that even I, her father,
do not know her nature thoroughly, and that I fear to think to what
extent her impulse might carry her. But I know that she needs
guidance, and that she cannot control herself. I have taught her ill,
or rather have not taught her at all. I have been remiss in my
fatherly duty--not intentionally, God knows! But I see it now--I see
it now." Even in the dark he turned his face from Joshua, the more
completely to hide his tribulation. "There is but one duty she can
understand--the duty of love. She knows no higher. She comprehends
that, because it is instinctive. She has her mother's devoted nature,
and would sacrifice herself for the only duty she can comprehend, as
her mother sacrificed herself for me. But she could not be made to
understand that under certain circumstances love may be sinful."
Joshua, following his train of thought, heard Basil's words, but
scarcely understood their sense. Still he said,--
"She loves you, sir."
"Yes, she loves me as a father, and by that love I have unconsciously
controlled her. But that power has gone from me. Our minds are
strangers; they used not to be so. Once she hid nothing from me; now
as I watch her I see in her eyes the attempt to hide her thoughts, and
I cannot express to you my agony in knowing that her heart and mind
are not open to me, as they have hitherto been. If I knew--if I only
knew, I should be satisfied; for then I might protect her. Sometimes I
think that another kind of love has come to her, and has shadowed the
love she bore for me. But for whom? Do you know?"
He asked the question in a singular tone of fierceness and entreaty;
but Joshua was thinking of Dan, and did not reply. Have I the right to
speak? he thought; and an affirmative answer did not come clearly to
his mind.
"You are silent," continued Basil in a quieter tone. "Are you
concealing any thing from me?"
"What should I conceal from you, sir?" asked Joshua in reply, after a
pause.
Basil Kindred sighed, as the words so hesitatingly spoken came from
Joshua's lips.
"Young men are often thoughtless in their actions," he said mildly, as
if wishful to rob the remark of direct significance; "they do not know
the depth and earnestness of some womanly natures. Listen, I will tell
you my story; it may be a lesson and a warning to you."
CHAPTER XXI.
LOVES SACRIFICE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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