"Number three!"
Another voice at the end of the room cried out,--
"Awful Collision!"
Joshua stopped in the midst of his sweeping, and waited for the shock.
But as none came, he proceeded with his work, and thought that the
second speaker was crazy. In the mean time the dialogue continued.
Speaker number one: "End a break."
Speaker number two: "All right," with a growl.
Speaker number one: "What type?"
Speaker number two, with another growl: "Minion."
At the word "minion," which Joshua considered was a term expressive of
any thing but respect, he expected speaker number one would walk up to
speaker number two, and punch his head. Instead of which the insulted
individual went into his corner again, and re-commenced playing his
tuneless piano in the meekest possible manner. The overseer then going
to a part of the room where long rows of type were placed in detached
pieces, asked,--
"How long will this Dreadful Suicide be before it's finished?"
"Done in five minutes, sir," was the reply, in a cheerful voice.
"Who's on the Inquest?" asked the overseer.
"I am, sir."
"Be quick and get it finished; you've been long enough over it. Now,
then, how long is this Chancery Court to remain open?"
"Close it up in two minutes, sir."
And Joshua gazed with a kind of wonder at the individual who spoke, as
if it were as easy to close the Court of Chancery as to close his
hand.
It was the day on which the paper was sent to press; the publishing
hour was three o'clock in the afternoon; and as the work was
behindhand, everybody was very busy. In the centre of the room was a
large iron slab, and at one time the hammering and beating on this
slab were terrific. Two, or three excited individuals, with mallets
and iron sticks in their hands, advanced towards the type, which was
laid upon the slab, with the apparent intention of smashing it to
pieces. They commenced to do this with such extraordinary earnestness,
that Joshua was on the point of rushing down stairs to the master to
inform him that his property was being wantonly destroyed; but as the
other workmen appeared to regard the proceeding as quite a matter of
course, Joshua checked himself and thought it would perhaps be as well
for him to say nothing about it. The overseer also continued to issue
his strange orders; and during a slight cessation in the hammering, he
peremptorily ordered the workman to "lock up that Escaped Lunatic, and
be quick about it." At another time he gave directions to lay the
Female in Disguise on the stone (meaning the iron slab), to unlock the
Old Bailey, and to correct the Chancellor's Budget. Joshua grew
perfectly bewildered. The information that there was an Escaped
Lunatic in the room did not so much astonish as alarm him; but as to
the Female in Disguise he could not identify her, and he waited in
amazement to see what disguise she wore and where she would be brought
from; at the same time entertaining the idea that to lay any female
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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